I’ve been doing some soul-searching lately and I feel like it might be time for me to take another “fanfic time out” to concentrate more on my original fiction. This isn’t the first time I’ve come to this conclusion. I think I was 16 the first time. I poked at fanfic occasionally for a couple more years after that, and then dropped it completely 2009 I think? Then 2016 rolled round and I got back into fanfic in a BIG way. Now it might look like I took a break just a year later until 2020 but no I just wasn’t writing anything much at all.

Sanctuary brought me back into writing. The obsession reignited my passion. Without Sanctuary I wouldn’t be where I am. It gave me back my dream and that dream is to write my own original fiction. Increasingly I’ve become very aware of time invested in various stories. Like the crossover Sanctuary/Warehouse 13 fanfic is over 80k – that’s novel length. Now I don’t regret writing it for one second. I enjoyed writing it and it was what I needed to work on at the time. With all the selling the house/not selling the house/mums health scare etc. I was too panicked to write original fic. The crossover kept me sane, but basically now the crisis is over I’m thinking about the future.

Giving up fanfic is a decision I’ve been resisting for a while. I owe fanfic so much, and I DO enjoy it. But there’s only so many hours in the day you know? And it’s about what will make me happy long-term. Anyway, to make it easier on myself, I’m giving myself the rest of the year to write fanfic to my hearts content.

SO! My mission, should I choose to accept it bwahaha is to write EVERY SINGLE fanfic idea on my list (that I still want to write when I get to it) before the end of the year. Deadline December 31st. After that the slate is wiped clean. 

Now this might not work out. I might get to December 31st and not be able to quit. We’ll have to see what happens. It’s going to be tough. You know what I’ve been like with Sanctuary and the dang novel length fics. Looking at the list *whistles* I’m going to be BUSY! Still I also hope that will stand me in good stead in terms of creating a rock solid writing habit of a good number of words per day. Anyway yeah that’s the plan.

Come next year I could be very red in the face, embarrassed after writing this post, because hey more fic. Who knows! Mostly I’m just worried that there’s still a lot of the year left, the list is already long, and those dang plot bunnies have a habit of spawning…

My brain I swear.

I wish I could say that oneshot I just posted will be the end of this nonsense but I don’t think it will.

On my list for a couple of months has been a pencilled in ‘Egypt + Italy globe-trotting adventure’ in reference to the Sanctuary summer Bingo cards. My brain is now thinking it would be an excellent idea to make it a Warehouse 13/Sanctuary crossover with a little Assassin’s Creed flavour sprinkled in there (yes I have been playing AC: Origins again).

Honestly I knew I was doomed when I started to get headcanons. I went and worked out the timeline for when Artie and MacPherson would have worked together (the 80′s) and I’ve made it work with Carol and everything.

So yeah it might be a thing but, but I have WIPs!! So I really shouldn’t even think about this anymore. However, honesty compels me to admit the last time I said ‘might be a thing’ about a fic was re: the Librarians/Sanctuary/Stargate crossover – and that eventually became over 50k of a thing. It was also a lot of fun that I’m not sure anybody actually read (too niche) and I’m heading in that direction again with this nonsense.

I tried talking myself out of it because it’s so annoying when characters have the same name, and with this crossover I would have James MacPherson and James Watson – ugh! There’s also Helen and Helena though I can use HG for the dialogue tags at least which would help with that.

Seriously I am supposed to be finishing stuff, and clearing the deck, so I can start something new for NaNo. This is not helping.

I keep going back and forth over the Mature rating I gave The Tragic Tail. I also slapped that rating on James Watson and the Curious Case of the Jarnul and I’m undecided as to whether that was necessary as well.

I think probably with both I have erred quite heavily on the side of caution. The Tragic Tail made me nearly cry (I know my own fic!) so I wanted to be cautious and I did my best to add appropriate warning tags as well.

Still they both probably quite easily could have been rated T.

I just flipped The Tragic Tail to T and then back again because as with most things I’m going with my gut. Brain says T would be fine but my paranoia isn’t quite so sure. This is probably why it’s quite rare for me to rate anything G, as I like to be cautious just in case.

This month for writing I’m trying to finish the original novel I started in April.

I have multiplying plot bunnies for fanfic though and plans to write more once I’m finished with the novel draft. I’ll be posting halfway into September anyway with the banked fanfic.

But anyway thinking about this made me think.

I’m my own target audience for my fanfic. I confess I reread my Sanctuary fics sometimes and I enjoy them. Egotistical to say that? Probably. I mean the writing is most likely crap but I’m responding emotionally to my OT3. I just love them so much.

Sometimes though I confess it gets me a bit down how little response my fics get. I know it’s a tiny fandom and a rare OT3 so I’m fishing in the littlest pond around. Any kind of response is proportionally probably quite a lot but still. It feels like screaming into the void. Like hello I put in a lot of effort here, am I invisible? Can anyone see me?

It’s disheartening sometimes. But I do it anyway and don’t regret it because I enjoy it. I plan to do more despite my current sadface 🙁 at having zero hits (according to AO3) on the fic I posted yesterday morning.

I don’t know why I’m posting this really. Because I have a sadface I guess. Because I can hold two contradictory views at the same time. That I write the fanfic because I love it, and also I am sad at the crickets. I don’t write for the kudos/comments/hits, as I said I do it because I love it – I’m my own target audience – but occasionally I get sad about it anyway.

Yes I know I’m repeating myself. I’m on a mental health downswing and just feeling very defeated. Logic tells me the lack of response is due to tiny fandom and rare OT3. My brain right now is yelling it’s because I’m shit, my stories are shit, my writing is shit and therefore my original novel will never be anything but shit. I dream of publishing one day. I did before for a short time and had a lot of crickets there too. Which makes sense, a career takes time to build, but logic is not helping me with the blackness today 🙁

Ok tentative fic plan!

If all continues to go well I should finish writing and the Sins of Atlantis tomorrow or Friday (probably Friday). So I’m thinking, presuming I can proof it in time, that I’ll post on Sunday. I’m dropping the whole thing at once rather than post every Tuesday and Friday like I normally do.

After Sunday (Day #18) looking at the remaining prompts for prompt month. Day #22, #24, #28 and #30 are all covered in and the Sins of Atlantis. So ignoring those.

Day #21 (so next Wednesday) was covered in the fic I posted for Day #10 (and the Brighter Side of Life). I’ll be posting and the Outsiders for Day #23 (next Friday) and for Day #26 (Monday after next) I’ll post and the Inevitable Conflict. Which means the only thing left is the gifset I’m considering making for Day #25. I have no plans for the remaining 5 prompts.

This will mean I’ll have posted something for 18/31 prompts (if I make that gifset) which isn’t bad going. As that’s seriously confusing and far too much like math that means I’ll be posting fic:
– This coming Sunday
– Next Wednesday
– Monday 26th

I’ve posted 3 fics this month already. I also have two other fics written that I haven’t posted yet. Both of them for Sanctuary (The Tragic Tail and Life Without Purpose). They are both waiting for graphics before I can post them.

The day after I finish writing and the Sins of Atlantis I’ll be going back to Gentlemen of Blood. Looking at the time frame, and what I have in hand, regardless of when I finish Gentlemen of Blood, I don’t think I’ll start posting until sometime next month.

So far so good on my “finish all the things” plan for July! In a couple of days I’ll be at 2/4 on the list 🙂