leni-ba asked:

🌍What tags or warnings will your / one of your wip(s) need if you intend to share it?

Oh thank you! ❤️

3) 🌍What tags or warnings will your / one of your wip(s) need if you intend to share it?

Ok for my original novel series I intend for it to be I don’t know “T rated”. I think of the TV that I like which doesn’t shy away from sensitive topics but isn’t generally gratuitous with the violence, sex or swearing. The term “family friendly” has got bad connotations these days so I’m not keen on applying that label. Also if the characters need to say “fuck” then they will (I mean it is an apocalypse). It’s not about sanitising it’s about not being distracting. I’m not a fan when characters say “fuck” practically every other word as (to me, in my opinion) it loses emphasis and is then just irritating. I think I can tell the story without leaning on cheap techniques for shock value. But we’ll see I guess.

For tags (as opposed to warnings) then: portal fantasy, queer characters/slow burn romance, military science fiction, magic and aliens, saving the world, prejudice, fear, found family and friendship. That kind of thing.

Now with the art that would obviously depend on the piece but never any warnings. I have no interest personally in drawing sexy art or anything like that. No shade on those who do and maybe I will get the inspiration in the future but it’s not on my list now. Anyway for tags so varied because it covers all the fandoms, my ships, characters. I will do canon, I will do AU.

To pick a specific art piece because aside from the Librarians exchange I am not actively tossing any ideas from my list around at the moment (and my exchange piece is supposed to be secret). Oh! There’s the painting I want to do for the Mother’s Day card. Mum and I usually once a year (though last year was the first since 2019) go to the seaside and play crazy golf. So I was thinking of painting a dog with a club in its mouth, the pirate flag fluttering behind (it’s a pirate themed course) and the caption something like “can I use my paw or tail instead?” and then an IOU inside for a trip out when it opens in the spring/better weather. So tag for fluff, dog, bad humour lol. I don’t know.

sarcasticsciencefictionwriter asked:

Hello! For the Procrastination Game: 🍄, 🖍,🤔, and ❤️, please! 🙂

Thank you! ❤️ As I said in the ask before I didn’t realise this was quite so fic focused. I just love asks and I really needed to ramble today. So I am incredibly grateful for you guys letting me. It’s being a day and this is a great distraction.

As I said before I can do original novel (vaguely) and art so yeah.

2) 🍄Describe your wip/one of your wips in the format of “___ + ___ =___”

My original novel is probably Stargate + Enchanted Forest (only) Once Upon a Time = well isn’t that just the thing? So = original novel.

For the art… 🤔 how about Ambition + Reality = Fear. Sorry I know, not so positive. How about Dreams + Hope = Desire. I don’t know. I haven’t decided what I am doing for the Librarians exchange piece. I am considering Dancing + Hearteyes but that’s a bit too cliche. I am still thinking.

7) 🖍Post Any sentence from your wip

Covered this in the other ask.

9) 🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

For original novels I am a little bit terrible at writing first drafts of Book Ones (so starting the verse) and so I have half a dozen going. In terms of one I haven’t actually written yet 🤔 maybe the spaceship rebel civil war, or perhaps the bodyguard romantic suspense, or maybe the archaeological treasure hunt. Honestly I have more ideas than I could write in 10 years. It’s kinda sad because I get new ideas too and I will just never get to them all.

For art I swear I have an even longer project list. I want to draw everything. I have a huge fandom list, like a few dozen ideas. Most just single scenes but I have some thoughts of a handful of panels comic strips. I dream of drawing illustrations for my original novels and perhaps even a graphic novel one day! In terms of specific ideas well I think I have mentioned a few times a Burn Notice Seven and Raffi scene. I picked up a bunch of prompts from last years “Year of the OTP” (is that running again? I should check) like I think I had Ancient Greece Sanctuary, and an Ancient Egypt Bering and Wells. I have a bunch.

12) ❤️Not a question, just a second kudos to send.

Thank you 🥰

bookwormchocaholic asked:

Ask Game for writers: 1, 7, 10. 😀

In which I should have read this more carefully 🤣 I saw it was about WIPs and didn’t realise it was so fic focused. I guess I could answer this two ways. I could convert it to art which is fandom, or I could vague talk my original novels. Maybe both? 🤔

1) 🦈Tell us the name of your/ one of your WIP(s)

Hmm well I don’t want to share the name of my original novel 🫣 I know I probably should but I get afraid about it. I sort of put up a division between “personal fan me” and “career me”. Not that I have a career (yet) but I can dream.

As for art well that doesn’t have names exactly, and also I don’t have WIPs in the same way. I have a list of ideas and I tend to take one, and finish it, rather than juggle several projects like I did fanfic.

I am currently signed up to the Librarians Exchange and I will be making something for that. I probably shouldn’t talk about that though because of the whole ‘secret’ gifter thing.

I would like to pick one idea off the list and say “I’ll do that next” and talk about it but truthfully what I am hoping to do is practice basic techniques. I spoke about this earlier with my frustration at being stuck with the ‘tracing’ and wanting to do it properly. I don’t know if I will be able to ‘teach myself’ to any level so that I can use it for the exchange. I mean I have had literal years to do so and not got anywhere with it so far 🤷‍♂️ I got a new sketchbook (because clearly the half dozen I already had weren’t enough) but maybe this time I will commit. I got some erasable coloured pencils and sketching in purple seems very fun so 🤞

7) 🖍Post Any sentence from your wip

As said I can’t really do this. I wish I had some kind of sketch to show, but again as I said art “WIPs” are more just ideas unless I am mid-project and I’m not right now.

To make up for not answering this I have picked another question for you.

11) 🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

For my original novel quite a lot of things 😂 but description is usually the hardest part. I can see it in my head but it’s so clunky when I try and write it down. Way too much frowning or smiling going on lol. I am trying to use more body language and less dialogue tags but I need to find more variety in it.

For the art it’s like I said I have my current process of bashing together a bunch of different references. Sometimes this includes selfies when I am struggling to get limb angles to match what’s in my imagination, but it just doesn’t work. It’s a) botched together so a lot of the angles are just slightly off/mismatched and it is unnatural and b) so stiff with no flow/life. It has zero style.

10) 🤡How many Wips are you actively working on?

Well I am actively drafting one original novel. I have benched the redraft I am ¼ of the way through, the first draft I need to reboot, the first draft I am only about 70% finished with, and the first draft I only wrote a bit of (I think that covers them 🤔). But really it’s just the one for “actively working on”.

For art… well I can’t lose sight of the gift exchange. I’m wondering if I should pick up ‘Sketch a Day’ again. I definitely want to do the 100 heads challenge. I got a copy of the Loomis Method book (heads and hands) and I think I should go through that. Same with Hamptons book (figure drawing). I was doing some screenshot redraws from “What If?” as I adore that art style. I can’t seem to pick a medium (paint, pencils, markers, ink) and so there’s so many options for rendering practice. It’s a bit overwhelming to be honest all of everything I want to work on.

Thanks for the ask ❤️

Something I don’t see talked about (and yes I know that’s a loaded opening sentence but I have feelings so I’m going to ramble) is how it feels to come to art late.

Like people throw out examples like George Clooney being 40 or something? Or Samuel L Jackson, or you know there are many, of people who came into something older and then were fantastic at it. It’s like a “it’s never too late” reassurance and ok cool, cool, but that doesn’t really help.

Continue reading

So I might not have anything else ready to post for prompt month. I have some pieces in progress but it’s looking doubtful that I will finish them. After the “Ezekiel as Ezra” drawing I took a break from the art and shifted gears to revision analysis of this novel draft I wrote a couple of years ago.

Ten days later and I have tossed most of it, have a rewritten outline, and I’m ready to write the second draft.

Except I’m not.

For two days now I have procrastinated and avoided and just not started with the writing. This is something of a pattern with me. If I can do things (and often I can’t do anything) but when I can do things, I can do pre-tasks quite well. I can make lists, I can plan, I can be analytical and do prep work. The rewriting of the outline involved a lot of creative thought too, as once I knew what didn’t work I had to come up with something that I hoped would this time. So it’s not like I can’t totally do creative stuff.

I just can’t word.

It somehow makes it real I think which hits me in the subconscious where I am afraid all the time. I am afraid that it will suck again. I am afraid that I will never be able to fix it to my satisfaction. I am afraid that this will all just be wasted effort. I am also afraid that I will be able to write it ok, that I will make it ‘done’ at some point because I am afraid of what comes next and I’m not sure I’m ready for that. So yeah equally afraid of failure and success. Probably overwhelmed too for good measure with all the things I am trying to remember about how to write it better this time (technique wise, not just the content points).

I’m not just like this with words, I am like this with everything. Prep work is fine but the actual thing? My mind runs a million miles in the other direction. Like I want to get better at art but I have some fairly comfortable bad habits and it’s easier to just roll with that, rather than actually tackle the hard work and practice to really improve. I don’t have to face how crap I am without the crutches I lean on. Plus if I don’t ever seriously knuckle down and try, then I don’t have to find out whether it’s impossible for me to get to the skill level I would like.

My whole life is like this. The second anything gets real, or feels important, or has consequences, I start to run. I was good at school until the actual qualification years came about. Then I stopped doing my homework when it was set, and started scrambling to do it the night before. I stopped putting in extra effort and started doing the bare minimum. My classmates thought it was funny and strange as if they shifted it was the other way, to doing better now it mattered.

So I don’t entirely know what to do with myself. I am trying to be gentle and listen to my feelings rather than push and beat myself up, and send myself into a depression spiral (like normal). As that isn’t a behaviour pattern which serves me. It’s one I have practiced and reinforced for over two decades though so hard habit to break. Plus, intellectually knowing something and actually feeling it are two different things. I am annoyed with myself and I wish I could do better, I wish I could be the person I want and not self-sabotage like this. I hate it.

I wish I was better at painting. I feel like it takes me waaaaay longer than it should. So I am a) knackered and b) it limits what projects I can do/number of them even more than my chronic health issues do.

But anyway I have done most of the painting I am doing for Jacen Syndulla week. Quite why my brain latched onto doing this so impulsively I am not sure but it’s a whole thing.

I basically just need to sort out the shading/do some detailing and it’s done. I just hope I don’t mess it up. That’s part of the reason I have quit for the day (it’s mostly because I am knackered), but I am hoping if I look at it tomorrow fresh I will be better able to fix it, than I am now.

I just want to have made something that doesn’t suck for once.

I love it when past!Me gets Me a present.

A while back I got access to 21Draw. They do this ridiculous thing where it’s basically always on sale so they pretend it costs way more than it does. But anyway that has like 30+ video courses on it and half a dozen were using Procreate which I have never done much with.

With that impetus I tried Procreate again but really did not get on with how the pencil felt against the screen. There was no grip and it was just not a good experience in comparison to my graphics tablet. I went googling and discovered PenTips but they are expensive so I just gave up. Especially as I am trying to transition away from digital. But then! PenTips were bringing out Version 2 and discounted their originals to practically nothing so I got a set (there are 5 in the box).

When they arrived I attached the tip to the pencil and promptly did nothing. (In my defence this year has been A LOT)

Well I have been doing a… bit more than a sketch but less than a painting, and apart from the fact that it seems to tank the iPad battery in just a couple of hours it’s been quite relaxing. I can see myself using it a lot more as it’s so quick. I don’t have to get out materials or set the graphics tablet up/turn the PC on etc. it’s literally just sit down and go.

The PenTip makes the experience so much better. It’s not tip-tapping and slipping on the screen anymore.

So yeah thanks past!Me.

Ok I am cheating and using PoseMuse as a quick reference for basically a T-pose set to do an “alternate outfit” sketch for Sabine.

I have the basic sketch. I need to clean up the line work and colour it. I am so damn slow with this. Unsure whether to blame that I am using Procreate which I don’t do all that often, or just my general lack of skill.

But now I have started so I guess I will do this thing.

I have so many art projects on my list at the moment due to the various prompt months. But I can’t shake the feeling that I am still doing it wrong. That I need to forget drawing what I care about and go back to basics or I will never properly learn. I am so damn impatient /sigh.

I really can’t draw but I also feel like I should metaphorically speaking “put my money where my mouth is” re: Sabine’s outfit. If I think something else would have been better I should try and show that.

I do have ideas 🙃

If only I wasn’t so damn tired /sigh

There’s AI discourse going around again, and I know I am contributing to it venting here but just ugh.

Like I love what I have seen because every post has been slamming AI and saying it’s theft and yes 100% agree. I like that I am not alone in hating the idea. It’s ironic now but I always had such comfort that a “creative job” would always exist because there would a) always be a need for it (whether I am good enough or marketable is a whole other thing, but humans need art), and b) it wasn’t something that could be done by a machine…. boy do I feel silly now.

But that’s kinda my point a bit. I hate remembering that AI exists that can do art. Yes I know there are logical arguments for why it won’t necessarily replace human creatives but I am cynical I guess. I already have a daily battle that I don’t feel like I will ever be good enough. Now I have to battle an additional mental demon of “what’s the point?” as maybe AI can’t do everything yet but the more the machine feeds, the better it gets, and exponentially so ‘one day’ is soon-ish. No telling how soon but it feels soon.

I am a more practiced writer than I am an artist but I don’t delude myself that I’m that great at either. Chronic fatigue is a real problem for me. Not sure how physical it is, it could just be mental from the depression/anxiety, but it gets in my way regardless. I need to put in a lot of work to improve, and I am so tired. It all feels pointless and a computer is already better than me. And yes I am feeling sorry for myself.

A big part of why I attempt to write and draw is because I have stories/images in my head and I want them to be real. Like most creatives probably, reality never matches my mind and that’s disappointing. Creating is a hard gig and that’s before the AI bullshit. But I keep trying because I want to produce my ideas. So I totally get that will always be there for me. That I can keep trying to make stuff no matter what AI is doing. But I also want to share, to be seen. I also – sometimes- try to dream about a future for myself. In this world where everything is about profit margins, and nobody pays for anything if they don’t have to, if AI can make something ‘serviceable’ in an instant, who would pay a human to make something? Presuming of course I can ever get my work to a level where anyone would ever pay anyway. I realise I can share for free but I also like to pay bills.

So yeah today I am sharing the misery I guess. Because everytime I see talk about AI (even good talk slamming it), it reminds me that it exists and I go in a despairing, demoralised spiral.

I suppose at its core. I so desperately want to be good enough. For reality to come close to matching the imagination. But I am held back by my mental demons and by being so tired. I need to have more stamina. But all I see is this huge mountain of work in front of me. All the practice I need to do to even hope of getting good enough. And it really does feel like time is running out. Who will even care anymore?