Category Archives: Stream of Thought

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6 days until Ahsoka. 6 days!!

I am now thinking about Jacen Syndulla. Why is his hair not green? I’ve a feeling I have made this post before but ehhh this is my ramble place and I can repeat myself if I want.

I mean he’s half Kanan and half Hera. So being human in features, with pointed ears as twi’leks have like a triangular bump for ears (so like the previously established half-human/half twi’lek children in clone wars), with Kanan’s blue eyes, and then green hair because that’s Hera’s colouring. I also thought maybe he had a slightly green pallor. A bit like how Spock is kinda human but has green Vulcan blood.

Anyway mix of both parents. But if they take away his green hair, he loses the feature that marked him the strongest as being half Hera’s.

They seemed to hint with “and we know what his father was like” that Jacen has the force. I want that for him (even while I am scared as we know what happened to Luke’s academy and Jacen isn’t seen in the sequels). But while kids can be mini-versions of one parent, and having a little Kanan around would be so bittersweet for Hera given Kanan’s loss, I don’t know I was just really partial to the green hair. I think with being brown hair it is just so normal, strips some of the half-alien away. Let Jacen be who he is, all his heritage.

I get that Ahsoka already has a non-human lead (yay!) and I also get that humans are easier (less make-up, special effects etc.) but it’s a diverse galaxy, not everything has to be so human.

6 days!!!

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@ussjellyfish

Tumblr is not kind to Batel

Whaaat? Why is tumblr not nice?

I rarely see anything as if it’s not on my dash when I look then 🤷‍♂️ I sometimes dig in tags but it’s a once blue moon type thing.

I guess maybe she is mostly perhaps written in as the “love interest” (I think she is capable of so much more) but ok she is connected to Pike, and as he is the MC her fate will probably be based on what material the writers want to give Pike to work with. Is it more drama to have her die? Or more drama to have her live but want then to get married or something and Pike know he has a time limit? Everything is about Pike probably from the writers POV.

But from fandom POV? Let her be free. Let her be the badass captain in her own right. Isn’t that what fandom is for, to give under appreciated women the adventures that screen time doesn’t have the time to show?

Although I guess maybe fandom sees her as an obstacle to a Pike/Una ship? I have never understood that mentality myself. Ship and let ship. Something existing doesn’t invalidate the alternative. And just because something is canon or not really well in my mind doesn’t matter. Are there ships I wish had been explicitly canon? Do I want my ship to kiss? I am human so yeah. But if the dice doesn’t fall that way, it’s the showrunners call. And being mean to a character/being negative in pro tags (anti tags exist) is just bad fandom etiquette IMO

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So I have to vent for a second.

Playing through AC: Black Flag. Trying to get 100% sync as that is a requirement of Platinum and I have been trying to do that for my games.

Sequence 10. Sneak about, stay out of combat. Was infuriating but I eventually managed it. Then right at the end almost the last thing is an assassination from a rope swing…

I must have tried… I’m not sure. 50 times? It felt like a ton. If I land on the stairs and then kill him, I have to be quick to reload the previous checkpoint or it’ll save. If I don’t kill him some of the time I can dive off and run around but he doesn’t always reset right/it bugs. Over and over I tried the rope swing. Had to reset that section and clear the watch towers, oh at least half a dozen times when the jumping off the boat failed.

Then finally bam off the rope and assassinated. Success? Well I cleared the rest of the memory (just an easy boat battle) aaaaand no.

It did not check off. And I’m not going through the entire memory again for the third time today. This is where my evening has gone and I am so frustrated. It shouldn’t be this difficult!

Excuse me while I go cry or hit something. Ahhhh!!

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Ahsoka is a week tomorrow. A WEEK TOMORROW!!! This is not a drill.

Ahhhhhh

Oh man I am going to be so useless next Wednesday until I watch. I think I read they are doing a double drop and there will be 2 episodes and I’m not sure my heart can take it. One episode will overload me on feelings.

I’ve watched the trailer several times and I am nervous. I am clinging to the “you have no power” from the Dark Jedi because the “master” to Ahsoka is freaking me out. Kanan trained Sabine for a while when she had the darksaber. They specifically discussed her not being force sensitive. I so much do not want them to walk that back. Sabine is amazing as an artist, as someone that loves explosives, as a Mandalorian with a jet pack and blasters. That is more than enough. Mando, Bo-Katan, they fight with the darksaber and aren’t Jedi. Sabine can be awesome with Ezra’s saber without the force too.

Honestly I am just gonna be screaming because Hera! Chopper! The Ghost!!! My beloved Rebels back on screen. Given that Zeb cameoed in the Mandalorian I am bummed he doesn’t seem to be appearing in Ahsoka :/ They are family.

A week tomorrow. I need to remember how to breathe.

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I don’t know why I am amused by this right now but I am.

Today I am going to be trapped in a car with people for four hours minimum to visit family. So it’s the kind of stress that means I will probably have a migraine tomorrow.

Anyway, the amusement comes in because I prep like I am taking a five year old on a roadtrip. Making up my bag I charged my iPad and downloaded the next couple of episodes of The Mandalorian on Disney+, I charged my Switch, I charged both sets of headphones and packed the wired ones. I packed the book I am reading. Then it was snack prep time.

Unless we hit traffic it’s 4 hours and I have entertainment for more than twice that. But like a five year old I ensure there are options so I can remain engaged if my brain throws a tantrum. I think it’s funny because it’s so ridiculous. But yeah fun times in the backseat today (hopefully) haha.

Thoughts on 2.10 (SNW)

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Actual live reaction.

Noooo!! NO! No no no no no! Oh Noooooo! No no

I cannot believe that cliffhanger!!! 😭😭😭😭😭
Like literally screaming, throwing hands in my living room.

We only get partial seasons and now they are pulling this shit? I have to wait until next year????

How dare!?! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!

Ok current status is screaming. Sorry sorry I will try and control myself but holy shit my heart is pounding like crazy.

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I’m watching The Mandalorian Season 3 (I know I am late) but I am bothered by several things this episode.

1) the unfortunately realistic amnesty of scientists which is uncomfortably close to what happened post-WW2. Like the Empire was so big they had to give a lot of Imperials a pass as they couldn’t imprison half the Galaxy but where is the line drawn? The amnesty seemed to apply to people who stayed with Empire remnants. I don’t know I just have a “what about justice for their victims?” kind of disquiet because of that scene with the Coruscant elite.

Tell me that was supposed to be disturbing with the guy going “republic? Empire? Rebels? What’s the diff? Who can keep up?” because life was forever a gravy train for him. Because it was seriously disturbing. And having Pershing address that packed auditorium was uncomfortable both for the platform it gave him given his crimes, but also for the performative gratitude towards the mercy of the New Republic which felt icky. Like an adopted kid having to be grateful for their food and housing. Like no if it’s the right thing to do, no need to fawn over doing the right thing.

I don’t know the whole thing is just like slippery slope doom feeling. I mean if they want to hint beyond what we already know as to why the New Republic failed then good job.

2) the naming of these amnesty scientists with numbers. Like whaaaat? Why? That’s stripping humanity. The clones had numbers and took names because they were people and deserved an identity. Why are they taking that from these people they are claiming to be helping? So wrong. I get they are dealing with a lot of people and social security numbers make sense but that’s for a database – not to address them. Use their names dammit.

3) the obvious terror of this mind flayer. Like dress it up all you want. It’s clearly the same tech and crucially it’s involuntary. And they did it without listening to him, by trusting another amnesty person. No investigation. This messes with his mind and they just overruled him like he has no rights. Ok so he’s a prisoner/on probation but that shouldn’t matter. There should still be basic rights otherwise how is the republic better than the empire? Let him choose this treatment or prison. Give him information about it. Let him have time to think. Not wake him up from being stunned/arrested and then zap. So wrong.

I can’t believe this is what Leia and Hera and my beloved rebels fought for. No wonder they left for the Resistance.

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So I have had my piano now for a couple of weeks. Watched a ton of YouTube videos, I have a request in for several theory books at the library, and I have been messing around on FlowKey.

Yeah I know zero chill.

But you see what happens is I start and then I notice something like – it’s hard coordinating my hands – and then I go down a rabbit hole of watching lots of videos for tips about that. That leads to other videos like “biggest mistakes self-taught piano players make” or “things I wish I had focused on more when starting to learn” etc. which then leads to more rabbit holes about music theory (as apparently just attempting to play what is there without understanding it is bad) and then yeah I am here.

Anyway while I was sleeping last night I was dreaming and the whole “key of the song” and “scales” thing clicked. I think I also get how the chords connect but not sure. Seriously most useful dream I have had in a while, usually it’s screaming nightmares so yay.

But it’s a bit like art. I have a lot of general knowledge floating around my head. I can look at sheet music and read it (the more complex, the slower I am but I can do it). However, that doesn’t translate to my hands doing what I want them to do.

My setup is bad at the moment and is killing my back. The piano is much too high on the Lego table so it’s easier to stand (as if I sit I am below it) but I don’t think standing is sustainable long term. I ordered a piano stand this morning and so hopefully I can move forward with proper posture/practice.

When it comes to practice though I am not too sure what I should focus on. Keyboard familiarity obviously so scales, chords; Rhythm so practicing with a metronome etc. But when it comes to songs… I’m having a bit of a logic question.

Maybe it’s because every song feels like the same approach but if it’s just a matter of practicing the key combinations, working out the fingering, and then getting smoother until I have the right rhythm – what does it matter if I practice a song marked “beginner” or “advanced”? Yeah the advanced has more notes, more movement, requires more coordination etc. But it requires practice either way. Break it down into sections, do a couple of measures at a time, do hands separately and then try hands together etc.

I don’t know I am just having a “well why can’t I try it?” type reaction. Not going to lie it’s fun to hear my own hands make notes I can recognise. Is it smooth or in proper timing? Hell no. But I have been playing only a couple of weeks and with no stand and also being afraid of making too much noise (I have an order in for headphones too) I would say my practice has thus far been hindered.

I do have a very bad habit of trying to run before I can walk. I am like this with art. I jump right into trying to draw full pieces rather than do practice studies, as it’s the full pieces that are the reason I want to draw. Same with the piano. I want to learn to play the songs I like. I don’t know if as an “adult learner” who isn’t going to bother with any tests or anything, I can get away with that, or if I am ultimately doing myself a disservice by skipping the practice of the beginner songs.

Anyway eventually I hope the lady at the music school who does piano will feel better, or they will hire a substitute, and I can have a lesson and ask these silly questions about learning effectively. I wish I could find an art teacher who could give me a course of study too. Trying to chart my own path does feel a lot like flailing most of the time.

The dream is the same as with everything I attempt (writing, art and now music). I just want to feel competent, like I am good enough.

Thoughts on 2.09 (SNW)

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Wow ok. I wasn’t really feeling the episode all that much until Uhura sang. I guess I wasn’t vibing with the songs. Plus the sound felt weird. I’m not sure if they recorded the songs in a sound studio and it was essentially dubbed, or if it just sounded a bit disconnected because of the dubbed in background music.

Anyway Uhura’s solo was wow. That hit. Could really feel the heart in it. Her smile is infectious I swear. The way she can light up the room.

I laughed so hard with the Klingons 🤣 I thought they were going to rap or something but then it was like hello Barbie. No wonder they felt so dishonoured. The high pitch alone. Considering that the music targets emotions not willingly expressed it actually makes more sense than some kind of war chant or something. The music pulls from them what they don’t want to share.

The way Uhura hummed at the end and freaked everyone out and they are looked at her, and she flashed that cute smile and said “earworm”. Although like the others weren’t into it a bit. I mean c’mon Pike it had exploded, it was all over, and he still did a little dance with Pelia – that was all him, not space anomaly induced 😁

Anyway I would deffo listen to Uhura’s solo over and over. Maybe La’an’s as well. Not so sure about the rest.

As ‘fun’ episodes go I still prefer The Elysian Kingdom (if we can call that fun given what happened with M’Benga’s daughter 😢) but this musical wasn’t bad.