(OMG guys guess what mobile tumblr just kicked back. This post from a couple of weeks ago. It said “found a lost draft, do you wish to restore?” and curious I said yes and boom. This had failed to post and then the app froze and I just want ugh and didn’t bother rewriting it.)

Went downstairs and found mum watching Timeless. I said NoSpoilers but she wanted to know if Lucy got her sister back (and I did sadly confirm no) and then she wondered about her mom. I hesitated at this point but said she didn’t get sick again (and mum knew I was hiding something) so I did say she was a bad guy. I then repeated NoSpoilers! Because I didn’t want to wreck it for them.

But I did tell her that it got better as time went on (because it did when Flynn was revealed to be more of an anti-hero). I wanted to make sure she gave it a chance.

And I told her that the ending was a bit crappy (because it was as they made Lucy hook up with Wyatt which is a big NoTP for me yuck).

But I sat and watched about 15 minutes before I remembered I was supposed to be going to bed. It was only episode 2 so I didn’t see any Garcy interaction but /sigh I am definitely having Garcy feels.

OMG this finale with the Daxomite invasion is amazing!!!

Like I should be live blogging this to remember all the awesomeness because there is a lot. But I’m too invested, it’s riveting viewing.

Cat Grant walked in like a boss. That conversation “don’t need to measure anything” was incredible. Alex jump twisting off the roof was totally badass. Cat Grant giving advice again was epic, I missed her. Lena’s mother walking in has trap all over it, I don’t buy her motive of wanting to save Lena at all. Oh! Oh! And Cat Grant going “ok so you are an alien but at least tell me you still a democrat” was hilarious.

I have thoughts about Lena and how Rhea manipulated her (I feel so sorry for her) but I’m not sure how to put my mess of emotions into words. I’m just screaming about it. Lena was so touched that her mother came for her. I love that she immediately argued for Supergirls safety.

I’m glad they mentioned the elephant in the room of Superman not showing up, though they didn’t say where he is. I hope they do address that and don’t just say “oh he was on vacation with Lois and didn’t take his phone oops” because that would suck. Ah mind control, didn’t that happen in the season 1 alien invasion too? Hmm.

Ouch. Major major ouch. Kara just asked why Lena’s mother didn’t reveal her secret identity and she said “one day Lena will discover you lied to her and hate you for it” and I have read enough spoilers to know 😭 that was some foreshadowing I did not need.

Cat Grant going “where is James and Kira?” and Win going “they are hiding like cowards” erm couldn’t he have said they were hunting the story? The office is busted which is why they aren’t working from it. I mean /facepalm. Lol she always knew about James though. I love that “thank you James” “I can see your eyes through the slit” – just more evidence that she really does know about Kara. I know they did that fakeout with Jonn but Cat Grant is smart enough to know about shapeshifters.

Honestly Cat Grant is amazing.

Kara is an idiot going to Rhea to get her to surrender. Alex doesn’t know that! She’s going to blow the ship regardless, I mean c’mon. Just why? Poor Alex impossible position and then the cannon blows up. If she’d left Alex wouldn’t have hesitated and the ship would have been toast.

This is some seriously epic TV. Ok I still have 2×22 to watch but it’s raid night 🙁 I’ll have to watch the rest another day!

Watched Supergirl 2×19 Alex the other day (I’m posting this late) and I find it uncomfortable to be against Supergirl but I was. Maggie had a point.

If there had been a bank stand-off for 16 hours – 16! – then what had Kara been doing all that time? Like why wait 16 hours to intervene? I might have been a bit more sympathetic if she had intervened immediately but at 16 hours???

Plus the Supergirl defence sounds all too possible. Breaking an arm, busting a big hole in the ceiling – actions have consequences you know. Kara thinks just because she believes in what she is doing, that it’s “right” that she can do whatever she wants.

I side with Maggie. Kara can fight aliens, do what the police can’t, but otherwise unless they ask for help she should leave it alone. I mean sure if she spots a car accident, she can be the “jaws of life”, or if there’s a fire she can help put it out. Natural disasters, getting people out of harms way, preventing destruction – all of that is good! Supergirl can do all of that but criminal cases? That requires cooperation, not just riding roughshod over everyone because “I’m Supergirl and I mean well so everything I do is right”.

Anyway sorry for venting but Kara’s arrogance does bother me. I love her don’t get me wrong but that doesn’t mean I always agree with her.

4thewords has these events. Today is the last day of the “Love is in the Air” event so I wrote a lot to finish the quests. Technically so long as the monsters are in the battle queue I could have done the remainder at my leisure but I decided to make the effort and finish it. There’s lots of regular quests and monsters still to beat after all 🙂

Anyway, I wrote a bit of Choosing Fate. Finally after 25k Nikola got introduced (I had missed him) but then I started to struggle. In my planning notes I have that the three guys have a “battle of wits” and I’m not that smart, in any battle of wits I’m unarmed. So I decided to take a break and picked up the ‘AU of an AU’ again. I’ve almost finished that now, just got to finish off the last scene and boom, done.

Honestly I’m disappointed with myself. When I did my goals I said I wanted to finish Choosing Fate by the end of January, I doubly wanted to finish it when I decided I wanted to bench my original novella for a while (so I wasn’t trying to do both) but it still didn’t happen. I resolved that I definitely needed to finish it in February… and yeah that doesn’t look like it’s going to happen either 🙁

I miss NaNo. I really wish I could replicate that. I wrote Our Darkest Hour in a month and that’s what I wanted for Choosing Fate. Anyway, I guess progress is still progress. I’m persisting and that’s the main thing.

Words Written: 2,738
Current Total:
26,159 (Choosing Fate)
11,473 (AU of an AU)

Finally picked Choosing Fate back up again. Honestly note to self “do not abandon stories mid-scene!!” it was hell trying to remember what I was aiming for there as I couldn’t remember.

(which means I shouldn’t just stop on the AU of an AU as yup you guessed it I’m mid-scene)

Anyway, I’m hoping the mixture of emotions, and how the POV characters are interpreting it, is coming across ok. This kind of thing was much easier back in the day when I head-hopped but I’ve trained myself out of doing that now. It’s like I know what John is feeling and why, but Helen doesn’t have any of that background, so what would she think of his demeanour?

One thing I have noticed is I feel like my character voice is improving maybe? It’s certainly occurring to me to make different language choices based on the POV which feels like a good sign. Of course I could just be seeing what I expect to because I know what I intend (and reason #118 why I really wish I had a beta reader because I would kill for some honest feedback).

Hopefully as I’ve now moved past that sticky scene I’ll find it easier to keep going on this story. I committed to adding at least 10k on it this month, although ideally I really did want to finish it (that’s not likely to happen now thanks to my fortnight of zeros *sad face*). Still progress I guess :/

Words Written: 1,472
Current Total: 23,856

Ok so I didn’t write Choosing Fate today after all. I was kinda in the groove of this AU of an AU so I ran with it. I had quests to do on 4thewords and I needed lots of words for them. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it 🙂

There’s 2 scenes left I think of this oneshot. Although can you really call it a oneshot if it’s likely to top 10k? Erm if I just post it all in the one chapter then maybe? It’s as good a theory as any.

I should really title this thing. I think I’m waiting on it as I don’t know what I’m going to call the larger AU, and it would be good I think for them to have complimentary titles. I will think on it.

Words Written: 2,743
Current Total: 7,395 (for this AU of an AU)

tinknevertalks asked: 

Ooooh, so I’m wondering, James Watson or John Druitt? 😀

Oh that is evil haha. I mean Helen can’t choose between them so how can I? (joking as I know the OT3 isn’t technically canon)

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Honestly I’m not dodging the question I will answer, it’s just very difficult as I do love them both. James obviously had much less screen time, so how much of his character have I just headcanoned? John is cursed so again how much is just my interpretation? Although I guess all characters are interpreted.

My instinct was to say “James”. I then immediately took it back and went “no wait John” and then said “James” and then just went ahhh I don’t know.

I got to be honest this is new territory for me as usually I’m very decisive about about being able to rank stuff. Normally I have no problem choosing. I do genuinely feel completely torn.

Gah.

I could be here all night going round in circles.

Alright James final answer. I regret it already. But if I have to pick then James by a microscopic hair. What gives him the edge is the slight sliver of doubt I have about John as we don’t see much of him un-cursed. Complex ‘grey’ characters are often my favourite, they can make mistakes and do the wrong thing but they have to be good/want to be good in their heart. 98% of the time I’m content with my interpretation of John but occasionally I wonder.

So TLDR James 🙂

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So this month has sucked for writing …

but today was pretty epic 🙂

I didn’t work on Choosing Fate. I know I should have but my brain was giving me some pushback on it, and I figured after only writing one day in the last fortnight – 1 day! – that I should take the easy road. Get words, remember that writing feels good, and hopefully then face less resistance on the harder project tomorrow. That’s the theory anyway.

So the easier project is my untitled oneshot with the working title of “AU of an AU from Into the Black”. Yeah I know that title haha. Basically I have an idea for a canon-compliant AU “colouring in between the lines” for season four. However, I want to branch off from that and take a lot of the backstory in that AU, and do a pure canon-divergence AU to replace Uprising (4×02). Hence the whole “AU of an AU” thing because that’s what it is.

Anyway, I don’t know what got into me, whether it was the quests on 4thewords, the easier project, the fact that I feel ok physically for the first time in a fortnight – who knows! – anyway the words just happened. I’m fairly buzzing about it. Sure I’ve written more in the past but after two straight weeks of zero, I’m pretty psyched.

Tomorrow I’ll try and go back to Choosing Fate.

Words Written: 3,552
Current Total: 4,652 (for this AU of an AU)

Has my mental health gone into the shitter because I’m not writing?

Or am I not writing because my mental health has turned crap?

Either way what the hell is up with this month? 🙁 🙁 🙁

urban-trek-thru-middle-earth said:  It’s a vicious circle, I find. You get stressed cus you can’t write, then you can’t write cus you’re stressed, then you feel guilty cus you’re not writing. Wash, rinse, repeat…

galactic-pirates said:  @urban-trek-thru-middle-earth oh lord ain’t that the truth lol, honestly /rolls eyes at self 

littlejoregal said:  It will get better! ❤ 

So a lot happened in that episode of WandaVision.

I mean the multiverse was talking about in Far From Home but was nothing but a lie there. Seeds of possibility though and from the X-Men version of Quicksilver I’m guessing something they are playing with for real this time. I figured they would have to roll with something like that in order to bring the X-Men in anyway.

Vision now knows something is up and isn’t going to stay quiet about it. There have been hints since like episode 2? That he sensed wrongness but now he knows. It’ll be interesting to see how that gets contained as there is still 3 more episodes. He can’t exactly blow it all up just yet.

Wanda’s speech to her kids was a bit “do as I say not as I do” but shows that she still knows what the right thing is, and wants to raise them right, even if she’s all a bit mixed up otherwise. Aka I know Wanda crossed the barrier but I’m still defending her atm, as I am just desperately sad for her pain. I don’t buy into her being a villain on purpose. I think maybe in her pain her powers got out of control and she’s just not ready to say goodbye yet. Plus there is lots of suggestions that Agnes is “in on it” and so there could be somebody else behind it. Maybe it’s Wanda’s power but not entirely her choice. Regardless I just don’t see her as a villain, not yet.

What hurt me the most in this episode was Monica being dismissive about Captain Marvel “not talking about her!” and I ache for what that maybe reveals. To go from the kid who wanted to build a spaceship to meet her halfway, to one that looks like she has zero respect for her now… Well I’m guessing it confirms that Carol never returned to Earth. She only came back when she got Fury’s page. So Maria founded SWORD, the two Rambeau’s had big dreams of meeting up with Carol and it never happened. Maria had to go the rest of her life without ever seeing the love of her life 🙁 I’m guessing that really hurt and Monica had to witness that, no bloody wonder she is mad at Carol.

Yeah I know I do seem to be watching WandaVision for the Carol/Maria pain atm 😛 but I can’t help it, that’s the part that grips me the most.