So Captain Marvel is on my dash and idk I think there is a new movie coming at some point? I don’t have the spoons, not seen the trailer.

But once again I am sad about the tragedy of Carol/Maria. And also in that I never found a gifset of Maria as Captain from Multiverse of Madness next to Carol as Captain. tumblr failed me, and I never summoned the spoons to make one.

Like Maria is not even old and they wrote her out 🙁 so we totally have to headcanon it was a faked death so they are married in space right?

Immortal/mortal ships with amnesia and years apart and just totally doomed for reasons. Like please excuse me I am sad. I just want them to be happy dammit.

I read a post this morning which as I understood it basically said that season 3 is a throwback to the fans that like white men being the best/center of the story. And it’s at the cost of diversity.

I have been consoling myself really with the “canon is a box of scraps” and “if store bought sucks, home made is fine”, “death of the author” “we can make it what we want” etc.

But step further. When I have the spoons I attempt to write. I have a crisis that I will never be good enough BUT my original fiction is diverse. Not intentionally diverse, I am not attempting to tick boxes. I just have ideas for various queer fiction. A lot tbh is inspired by shows that frustrated me as it was right there and ignored in favour of the cis straight white guy etc.

I guess what I am trying to say is I love Trek. I love so many established franchises but the future can be ours. Somebody somewhere in the world who has considerably more talent than me I am sure, could be inventing a queer sci-fi franchise right now. In the current climate it would probably struggle to get made so maybe it exists as a novel, or a web comic, or something.

Sorry I don’t think I am making sense. I guess I am trying to say if diverse fans are being iced out of Trek, then we can most definitely refuse and say fuck you homemade is fine, and fix it all in fanfic. We can also go and make our own universe which is ours from the beginning. I swear I had a point. I’m not sure I have made it. Sorry.

@Purlturtle

To my mind, Star Trek was queer (as in, subversive) from the beginning, so I’ll be damned before I leave the field to the cishet white male Trek bros – nobody will get me to leave, or stop demanding better from the powers that be

I think this is what annoys me the most. Now I don’t know Roddenbury or what prejudices he had. However for the 1960’s he crafted Trek to be diverse with the Russian on the bridge, Uhura as a competent officer not a servant etc. So in my mind diversity has to be hardcoded into Trek’s DNA. It is supposed to be inclusive, that was the intent from the start.

But I guess I think we have debated this before? That the 25th century might have less prejudice but it is being written by people in the 21st century who don’t always realise their cultural/subconscious biases (and that’s being generous and giving them the benefit of the doubt that it isn’t on purpose).

Jack is the fanfic OC. That is ‘special’ and the ‘chosen one’ and the one the whole season is about tbh.

I wrote stories like that when I was a kid. It was how I started. I had learned better by the time I was 13. How old is Matalas?

I am not knocking this in fanfic. Fanfic is fanfic. People have fun. I am not being mean. But canon isn’t fanfic. And it is doubly WTF kinda because of the pushing so hard that only nostalgia/the old characters matter. That’s why the new crew got thrown under the bus. And now all the old characters are really just serving the shitty self-insert Han Solo rip-off golden boy. Like they deserve better too.

Ok Picard episode 8.

I procrastinated on watching it. Actual avoidance. So it’s at that stage /sigh.

Spoiler warning as always.

First let’s focus on the positives.

I am not someone that loves to hate. I am frustrated because I love and I do love Trek. So were there any good moments?

Continue reading

I would like to not feel so chronically fucking exhausted. Can we make that happen?

You’d think that given how much I absolutely LOVE Star Wars: Rebels I would be going feral over the Ahsoka trailer that just dropped. I’m not though. I am a bit uncertain I guess? Mixed feelings.

In the 1 second he was on screen Chopper seemed to have been captured pretty well. As for everyone else… well I reserve judgement. I have such feelings about the animated versions I am unsure as to whether the live action encompasses all that they are.

Like Hera is the best damn pilot in the galaxy, an inspirational leader and a loyal friend. There is a warmth to her though. From season 1 they played it as a found family with Hera and Kanan playing the roles of parents. Hera even said in like episode 3 or something about “the kids”. Will they capture that? Will they allow her to be utterly badass, brilliant and still warm?

Not going to lie I only have myself to blame when it comes to Ezra. I had fancasted and the dude they picked doesn’t look anything like who I wanted (John Harlan Kim). But it could still be good. Same with Sabine. She doesn’t quite look how I had imagined but we shall see. I confess I remain unconvinced by Ahsoka’s actress anyway. So yeah mixed feelings.

Like don’t get me wrong I am looking forward to this. I may actually try and watch it when it drops (as opposed to pretty much everything else which I have yet to get around to). Rebels is so close to my heart. I want this to be utterly amazing. I suppose if I am honest deep down I wish they had done a season 5 animated show (like they brought back clone wars for season 7) or even done a spin-off to call it a new show like they did for the bad batch.

Live action is cool but it’s not everything.

Of course my ambivalence could be mostly because I feel so damn tired. It’s hard to care a lot about anything right now 🙁

I’m getting my medication back on wednesday.

If it makes me feel better (please for the love of merlin let it make me feel better) my first priority is obviously the Bering and Wells Big Bang. I mean whether I feel better or not I have to do that. I feel so awful that the scale of my ambition has had to be decreased due to feeling so crappy. My poor partner deserved better. Anyway!

My next priority will definitely be to do ALL the Seven and Raffi things because oh man this season of Picard just sucks. Like every episode I’m like “is it gonna be that bad?” and then it’s worse kind of suckage.

I can’t fix the show. It is what they made it. But I can spark joy for myself (hopefully) by making things. Need some spoons first because I am just so chronically exhausted I am just crying. So pretty please let me feel better and then I can make things, which should make me feel even more better. Let’s go up rather than down.

Seriously I will (when I get spoons) sail this damn ship myself if I have to because Seven and Raffi deserve better dammit.

I can’t find a tumblr post. Search is garbage. I know it exists but alas. Anyway it’s on repeat in my mind. The sentiment goes something like this:

“You like that show?”

“I like the version I wrote in my head after it started to disappoint me.”

*sighing forever*

This is why we can’t have nice things.

I’m watching the “Best of Both Worlds” TNG two-parter and everytime they say Admiral “Hanson” I am jumping. I know it is spelt differently but what a weird coincidence.

Hearing Wolf 359 is like Order 66 😭

Why can’t we get subtlety in episodes like this anymore? Listing off the destroyed ships and one of them is Melbourne (the ship Riker was tipped to command) and it’s not a big moment. He just looks down for a second, but man I felt that. It was an earned moment.

Did these episodes win awards? I feel like they should have done.

Also I now need to google how Guinan knows Picard (outside of Picard time travel adventure) because more than family is making me go hmm? As I can’t recall the story.