Category Archives: Stream of Thought

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I need to stop feeling sorry for myself I think I’m making my arm hurt more. They say that don’t they? That the more you think about it, the more pain you feel. I’m not doing it on purpose but there has to be a reason for the increasing pain. I really don’t want to go back to chronic agony. I have too much to do.

Excuse all the random posts today. I guess I’m in that kind of mood. Anyway, I need to stop being so tired and brain dead. My excuse at first was that I was too busy with the uni application and the wedding. Then I was recovering from that. Now my arm hurts and it’s draining all my energy. Well screw all of that. There are talented people who deserve comments! I need to stop avoiding reading fic out of fear that I won’t be able to comment intelligently.

I also need to write my fic and stop procrastinating on it. I’m posting Tuesday even if I have to stay up all Monday night to finish. I need to do better geez. I posted about Warcraft today but I haven’t thrown over fandom and my obligations for mindless gaming. At least not intentionally. Sometimes it is just easier to game rather than read or write, but enough is enough. I need to not be lazy. There it’s stated in black and white.

So go forth self and leave some nice comments for people. Your favorite fic writers have posted things. The least you can do is ramble at them about how good it is.

Warcraft Rambles

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I just got my notification that the sub has been paid for the next month and it hit me that I’d been playing again for a month. When I started I wasn’t sure if I was just visiting, or if I would continue to play. Out of interest I went and found my last blog post on the game “Why I unsubbed to Warcraft” posted April 2015 to see what I’d put and that sparked some thoughts, and I figured I’d write a blog post.

I was just going to post it on my private blog, but I figured I’d posted here, when I surrendered to nostalgia and resubbed, so I might as well cross-post and ramble a bit about how it’s gone. After all I’m still playing after a month so something must have gone right.

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Procrastination Questions aka don’t answer these unless you have a free hour

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I was tagged by the lovely and amazing @bookwormchocaholic and @mariequitecontrarie thank you! 🙂

The last ? you had:
1) Drink: Water
2) Phone call: Probably my mum but I’m not sure. Nobody ever calls me.
3) Text message: Oh this I can check! My new uni heh 🙂 reminding me about open day details a couple of months ago (people don’t text me either).
4) Song you listened to: Karazhan by Sharm
5) Time you cried: Last week I think but it wasn’t a big deal or anything

6) Dated someone twice: That would require dating someone in the first place
7) Kissed someone and regretted it: Kinda. My first and only kiss, it wasn’t good hence the kinda but at least my curiosity is satisfied I guess.
8) Been cheated on: Nope
9) Lost someone special: Yeah
10) Been depressed: That implies it’s only temporary. It’s a demon I’ve battled every day for years and years.
11) Gotten drunk and thrown up: Never touched a drop so no.

Favorite colors:
12) Blue
13) Gold
14) Grey

In the last year have you…
15) Made new friends: Possibly. I get fuzzy on dates and when I should start counting from. I was @little-inkstone santa and we’ve been chatting periodically ever since so would that be last year or this year?
16) Fallen out of love: Nope
17) Laughed until you cried: Not that I recall and I usually remember that because I hate it, it’s always so embarrassing.
18) Found out someone was talking about you: Kinda.
19) Met someone who changed you: I hadn’t really thought about it like that but yeah I guess so.
20) Found out who your friends are: That sounds sinister so nope.
21) Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Haha what a random question. I barely have anyone on my FB and I haven’t kissed anyone so nope.

General
22) How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life?: Half. 6 real life, 6 people I met through my gaming guild years ago and my mum for lucky 13 contacts heh 🙂
23) Do you have any pets? Nope!
24) Do you want to change your name? Been there, done that, the paperwork was a pain. So I don’t want to because I already have.
25) What did you do for your last birthday? Went to the seaside with my mum, we played crazy golf. Then we went for a game of tenpin bowling, did a best out of three air hockey tournament before returning home and watching a movie. That’s quite often what we do for special occasions. It makes for good together time 🙂
26) What time did you wake up? Which time? There was about 2am, about 4am, then up for good about 6am. That was a good night, usually it’s way worse.
27) What were you doing at midnight last night? Well I’d been laying in bed for a couple of hours by then, so I think I’d just dropped off thankfully. Getting to sleep is such a battle.
28) Name something you can’t wait for: Uni to start next month! I just want to dive into my course! 🙂
29) When was the last time you saw your mum? About five minutes before I started these questions.
30) What are you listening to right now? I have my gaming genre on shuffle on iTunes. I don’t know why I just felt like it.
31) Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? Why the name Tom? Is that because everyone knows someone called Tom? Well it’s true I did. The last Tom I spoke to was someone I worked with. He was such a genuine guy, he was so down to earth and witty. I smiled getting his emails and his comments were always spot on. It was a pleasure to work with him and he was going places. He had talent and the drive to get there but he died a couple of months ago. He had one of those natural time bombs, nobody knew it was there, he was perfectly healthy and happy until his heart gave out. I’m still shocked to be honest. I didn’t know him well but why did such a thing have to happen to such a good guy? It’s just so not fair.
32) Something that is getting on your nerves: The persistent ache in my arm. It’s been acting up lately and I could really do without the chronic pain.
33) Most visited website: You are joking right? Tumblr of course heh
34) Hair color: Brown
35) Long or short hair? Short, it’s easier to manage that way. When I’m mentally and physically doing well I like to go swimming. I used to have long hair and I tried swimming with that and even tied up in a swimming cap it had a horrible habit of getting in my mouth, not to mention how long it took to dry. Short is just easier.
36) Do you have a crush on someone: Nope. I mean I aesthetically admire how attractive some celebrities are but I wouldn’t call that a crush as I don’t know them. I’ve never been attracted to anyone I’ve met in real life.
37) What do you like about yourself? Wow asking the hard questions here. Oh man I don’t know, not much, I guess I try and be a nice person. I like other people to be happy and I try and help with that if I can. I try and be there if people need things.
38) Piercings: Nope
39) Blood type: I don’t actually know. It’s not like it matters, I’ll never be able to give blood, it’s easier to get water from a stone.
40) Nickname: Well my full name is Samantha so I guess Sam is a nickname, or is that just a shortening? I’ve never been sure what nickname means. I suppose I did have one when I was gaming as people called me by my paladin’s name. I use that as a pseudonym now so I won’t share it.
41) Relationship status: Single.
42) Zodiac: Is that Taurus? I get confused about all these different things.
43) Pronouns: She/her.
44) Favorite TV show: Of all time? Stargate! (don’t make me choose between the three, though SG1 would probably edge it because Carter). Currently airing? Well *sigh* Once Upon a Time will always have a special place in my heart. It is so inspiring and it has given me so much. I am looking forward to season seven but to be honest a lot of my enjoyment comes from the fandom and what we take from the show, rather than what the show gives us. So if I’m being honest I have to say Agents of Shield. I love that show so much! I’m counting the days until season five and I’m keeping everything crossed already that they’ll be a season six. I just adore that show, I love everything about it!
45) Tattoos: Nope, I’ve never had anything that I can be sure I’ll still feel the same way about in 10 years. If I’m going to permanently mark my body, I need to be sure about it. Plus to be honest tattoos just aren’t my thing stylistically. I think some people look great with them but I don’t think I’m someone that would.
46) Right or left handed: Mostly right but I do some things with my left. Plus I can swap to my left if my arm gets tired, or at least I used to be able to do that. So I think I’m slightly ambidextrous.
47) Surgery: I had my knee done so that I could walk again without agony. I had four toes done because of severe ingrowing toenails (I know that’s gross). Nothing major though.
48) Sport: Nope. I do like swimming but only casually. When I’m feeling alright I like to regularly go and do half a mile or so of laps in the pool. There is a rock climbing social club at the university and I would love to join, but there’s no way I can with my arm. Maybe next year.
49) Holiday: NaNoWriMo! That’s a holiday right? 🙂
50) Pair of trainers: Sure I have a black pair of asics which I wear all the time as my shoes. I have a white pair of asics that I wear if I go to the gym. I have an old and battered pair of white asics that I wear for DIY/dirty chores.

More general:
51) Eating: What right now? Nothing. I had breakfast a while ago and that was yogurt. That’s also my favorite food if that’s what this is asking. I’m confused.
52) Drinking: Water as I finished my black coffee 🙁 maybe I’ll have to go make another.
53) I’m about to: What? I really don’t get what this is asking. Oh perhaps it’s what I’m going to do when I finish procrastinating with these questions, which are taking forever by the way. Well I do have writing to do so probably that.
54) Want: My arm to stop hurting would be nice. Also you know winning the lottery heh but if we’re in the bounds of realism, I’d like a UK broadcaster (preferably netflix) to pick up Inhumans. I saw it advertised at the cinema but there’s no point seeing the first episode in IMAX if I can’t see the rest for a year until the DVD is released.
55) Get married: Honestly not really. I just don’t feel the need for a relationship in my life. I wish certain people would understand that.
56) Career: Ideally I’d love to write books. That is possible, I mean with indie publishing, so long as I have some talent (I doubt this regularly) then with enough hard work and a good dollop of luck, it is possible to make a living. Otherwise? I really don’t know. I hope that the uni can help me with this.
57) Hugs or kisses: Neither. I like my personal space. Unless it’s my mum in which case hugs are welcome.
58) Lips or eyes: What a weird question, I mean they are body parts. I really don’t know. I’m notoriously bad at reading people’s expressions. They kinda work together to produce an effect.
59) Shorter or taller: Well being short does kinda suck. I mean short legs makes my butt look gigantic, I really hate it. Plus it’s so hard to reach anything.
60) Older or younger: Age is but a number. Oh wait these questions are taking a definite turn towards romance. So in that case neither. Although if we’re talking attractive celebrities, I mostly aesthetically appreciate those who are a bit older.
61) Nice arms or nice stomach: See this question tipped me off. I’m not sure it matters, I mean it’s the overall impression so arms and chest work together.
62) Hook up or relationship: Neither.
63) Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant for sure.
64) Kissed a stranger: My first and only kiss. I mean I knew his name so he wasn’t a total stranger but we had just met.
65) Drank hard liquor: Not touched a drop of any kind of alcohol so nope.
66) Lost glasses/contact lenses: I don’t think so
67) Turned someone down: Bizarrely yes. There was one time at school because I was sure it was a prank designed to humiliate me (I was right) and the second time with the guy I kissed. We exchanged numbers and he invited me to go over and ‘hang out’ which set off my alarm bells. That was also confirmed when I suggested meeting somewhere public and he stopped talking to me. I just laughed because I knew it.
68) Sex on the first date: Personally no I don’t think I would be comfortable with that.
69) Broken someone’s heart: Nope
70) Had your heart broken: Nope
71) Been arrested: Nope. Haha it’s quite funny actually. When I was at school we had a policeman come into our class for a talk. He asked for a volunteer to handcuff for a demonstration and one of my classmates said it should be me, as that would almost certainly be the only time I’d ever have handcuffs on. They were right, that is (thus far I guess) the only time. I struggled, trying to do moves I’d seen on the TV, and they tightened quite painfully. I mean obviously I did it wrong, clearly slipping handcuffs takes practice 🙂
72) Cried when someone died: Not initially but yes.
73) Fallen for a friend: Nope

Do you believe in …
74) Yourself: Haha nope
75) Miracles: I wish but no
76) Love at first sight: I really want to say no because it doesn’t fit with how I see the world. I take a very long time to accept things and definitely to trust people. To me love is like the ultimate expression of trust. However, I’ve known it to happen twice. My grandparents got engaged two days after they met and were married for sixty years. My mum’s boyfriend moved in within a month of them meeting for the first time and they are now married. She’s very happy so I guess for other people it can happen.
77) Santa Claus: That would be fun wouldn’t it but no. I mean it could just never happen because if people saw unfamiliar presents under the tree they would freak about somebody having been in their house. Although I do like the answer that newspaper man gave when that child asked, about how the spirit of Santa is in all of us. That was nice and I do like to help people.
78) Kiss on the first date: I don’t see why not but it would depend on how both parties felt. These things have to be right.
79) Angels: Nope

Other
80) Current best friend’s name: I would probably count my mum as my best friend. I don’t know if that’s pathetic, it probably is, but I don’t really have any friends in real life and I can talk with mum about anything.
81) Eye color: Brown.
82) Favorite movie: The Princess Diaries is my absolute go-to feel-good movie. I don’t know why I like it so much but I’ve watched it so many times I can practically quote the whole thing. I do like other movies which are a lot more ‘me’ but they change periodically. Like right now I would probably say Cap: Civil War, whereas The Princess Diaries is a constant. That has been true since I saw it for the very first time getting on for two decades ago. Wow I feel old now.

I’m going to tag @little-inkstone, @rowofstars and @worryinglyinnocent but please don’t feel obligated. This did take a very long time. I might not have started if I’d known how long *rolls eyes at self* but hey it’s Saturday and I was procrastinating anyway 🙂

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*rolls eyes at self* I have a “I don’t live in the US” problem this morning. I’m watching (and trying not to binge watch to make it last longer) Killjoys season two, which was recently added to Netflix. The more I watch it, the more I love it, and I want to showcase that love by finding pretty gifsets BUT season three has mostly aired in the US (I have the same issue with Dark Matter which I also love) and I don’t want to completely spoil myself.

I know this was random, my bad. It’s just there really is some cracking sci-fi on at the moment. *cross fingers* there will be a season four of both.

Miracles Happen!Belle: How does it feel to finally be seeing the world? Did you enjoy your special train trip?

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It feels incredible. Honestly I feel like pinching myself some days. Life isn’t perfect obviously, there are good and bad days, but after the rollercoaster of events just before and after Gideon was born… normality is most definitely not overrated. Actually our trips have reminded me of one of the (many) reasons why I fell in love with Rumple.

I didn’t really have a term for it in the old world but now I understand that he was the first ‘intellectual’ man I’d ever met. We can spend hours discussing everything under the sun. It’s such a joy to soak up all the history and culture of the world with someone that appreciates it as much as I do.

As for the train trip it was just lovely. The atmosphere of the steam railway was like nothing I’ve experienced before. Gideon loved it and even though it was a ‘fun’ trip for him, there was still plenty of history and culture which he was learning about unconsciously. I want to give Gideon as many opportunities as I can, Rumple and I both do, and if he can have a great time and get a little education at once so much the better.

(OOC: Oops I just found this in my askbox sorry)

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You know you’ve been thinking about Rumbelle fanfic a bit too much when you start dreaming about it.

Last night I had this weird dream. It was half watching the fanfic idea unfold, and half knowing that I was plotting the fanfic and then going “well that’s a bit cliche, try doing something different?” and then turning it around and thinking of other possibilities. It was even complete with me mentally groaning that one idea would have been plenty, and now I had two and was that really necessary?

Although unfortunately (or fortunately depending on point of view) I can only remember bits and pieces. As is quite often with dreams the more I think about it, trying to remember, the more it fades away and becomes fuzzy.

Still I thought it was quite cool to dream about rumbelle fic 🙂

Under My Skin Belle: What sort of fiction do you write? Also, do you think a Scotsman might one day end up in one of your stories? :)

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Belle: My author hasn’t updated me in six months. I’ve been stuck on this car drive for forever.

(OOC: Sorry I know I’m not really amusing, I’m attempting to joke to mask my shame. Has it really been six months? Where has the time gone?)

Real answer…

Belle: I’m not picky on genre. I like exploring characters in all sorts of different environments, it depends on what speaks to me. I go through phases I suppose in which one setting inspires me more than others. Although I also confess the research can be a procrastination tactic. I rather enjoyed my Regency period, the amount of books I devoured … but I digress.

Could a certain scotsman end up in one of my books one day? Well they say art imitates life, or was it life imitates art? Either way it’s certainly possible some traits could appear especially in a romantic lead… *blushes* I mean, well there are some attractive *clears throat* I’m going to stop now.

Do you think we’ll see even more people (try to) steal the Dark One’s dagger in the new season?

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I hope not!

I do need to admit to a bias before I answer really. I have issues with the dagger. I mean actually that’s not true. I have issues with how casually it is treated on the show. People take it and use it against Rumple and seem to think it’s nothing. The dagger forces him to do as commanded, he loses all free will. Now you know what a big fan of Regina I am, and as a redeemed villain and fellow magic-user she’s the best example to use for comparison.

Nobody has ever tried to put some kind of control device on Regina. Even when she was at her worst, nobody tried to strip her of her free will. Whereas people treat the dagger so casually, I wonder sometimes if they’d use it on Rumple to get out of a parking fine or something else equally minor. I know I’m being ridiculous with that statement but the way using the dagger has been portrayed in the show, it’s been like using it has no consequences.

Anyway, I could rant about this for ages, so I’m going to shift gears slightly. Rumple didn’t lose the dagger for almost the entire time he was the Dark One. Then especially come season 5/season 6 it was like he was losing it practically every other episode (I know that’s an exaggeration but my point stands). Rumple knows what the dagger can do, he’s not a careless man by nature, so why has it been so easy for people to steal the dagger?

In my opinion the dagger has become something of a “get out of jail free card” for the writers. They need Rumple to do something, or to not get in someone’s way etc. and rather than think of a legitimate reason, they just have somebody take his dagger so that he does whatever is necessary.

So yeah I loathe the dagger for multiple reasons. I hate it for stripping away Rumple’s free will. I hate that there are never any consequences for that. I mean I know it probably contributed to Rumple’s mental state in season 6 as he was in a terrible place, but I’m not just talking about consequences for Rumple, but consequences for the people that use the dagger. If “all magic comes with a price” surely controlling the Dark One and using his magic should come with a price? Plus controlling another human being shouldn’t be something that is done so casually, it’s fundamentally wrong. Shouldn’t any of the main characters have at least some conscience pangs about it?

Sorry I’m going on again. Basically I would be happy if the dagger never came up again. Say Rumple has it locked up in a safe place if they must and then leave it at that. They don’t ever show consequences for using it, and I’m sick of them using it as a way to stop Rumple from getting in the way. My greatest wish for season seven is that they stop finding ways to bring Rumple down, if the villain is an evil like we’ve never seen, then let them be powerful enough that Rumple can go full power on them. Let’s see every inch of the power he commands, not just magically but tactically.

However while I hope the dagger won’t be a factor, I rather suspect that it will be. It’s far easier for them to hobble Rumple, and they like him to be on the villains side and as Rumple is redeemed and looking out for his family, how else are they going to get him to be all evil? They’ll have to have him commanded. That’s my pessimism talking though. *cross fingers* I’m wrong on this score and my hopes come true and the dagger is ignored.

WIP meme — water; hand(s); baby; magic.

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From untitled oneshot (to be posted next Tuesday if I can stop adding details)

Her eyes had widened, her heart beating furiously in her chest, as she watched the senseless tragedy unfold helpless to do anything … then the boy had been lifted into the air by invisible hands, before being gently lowered back down.

It had made him embrace the clerics and their beliefs in the evil of magic even more.

35 and 41?

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35. Do you like high school and college AUs?
I think there are very few AU’s that I would say I dislike on principle. I know that high school/college AU’s have a bit of a bad name but I do try and not judge anything on it’s labels. If it’s well written and in character then that’s all that matters. A skilled writer can take any AU and make it spell-binding and interesting and keep me hanging on every word. So yeah, basically why not?

41. Favorite fluffy tropes?

I really should make a list of tropes to make answering these questions easier. I know I have knowledge of tropes so why can I never remember the names when I get questions like this? I just googled and wow somebody needs to make a list of fluffy prompts. That was an impromptu explanation of various kinks that I could have done without.

Basically I’m a sucker for communication. Pure fluff is impossible to write (for me at least) because without some kind of conflict I can’t move the story along. It can be very minor conflict but something has to happen. In a fluff story though the characters talk about it. They are sensitive to each others moods and there’s lots and lots of hugging and snuggles. I like reading/writing about just simple “being together” moments, like snuggling on the couch with one reading a book and the other watching TV, or one of them doing paperwork. They aren’t demanding each others attentions, they are just comfortable spending time with each other.

I quite like hurt/comfort I guess so long as whatever happened wasn’t really bad. I think the term for what I don’t like is whump? Though I don’t understand that term really. I’ve just seen it applied to when the character is put through something awful just so they suffer. I don’t like that. But if one character has a cold and then the other brings them food and drink and tucks them up with a blanket that’s sweet. Lots of hugs and gooey nonsense heh.

Did I mention the hugs? Yeah being tactile and loving is a very important part of fluff and I guess all of this that I’ve talked about is established relationship. They are either already romantically involved or friends, but then best friends to lovers is one of my favorites so /shrug I guess I’m just predictable 🙂