Category Archives: Stream of Thought

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Can somebody please remind my brain what a oneshot is?

I’m serious. I want to just write and finish something because that makes me feel good. I thought I had 4 oneshots on my list. A few weeks back I started one and … several thousand words later realized it was going to be a lot longer than I had thought. So I shelved it because I have WIP’s I’ve already started posting, and you know priorities.

The other day in desperation I tried with something else and … same thing happened. I just want the satisfaction of the end. Today I thought “I’ll look at my ideas list” and cheer myself up by picking something brand new and finishing it. Trouble is now every idea I look at is exploding in my mind before I even start writing it. I like all these ideas, and maybe that’s the problem.

So back to the WIP’s I guess.

#even with ideas i love the middle is like quicksand and sometimes it feels like a long slog to the end#i love writing but middles suck

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whitesheepcbd:

I got a comment on AO3, that I’m inclined to dismiss b/c of the ranty tone. But it got me thinking that maybe not everyone views the Golden Queen interactions in 6A the same way I do. 

So, informal poll– what was the GQ relationship in 6A about? Love? Sex? Power? Something else? Also, with the assumption that Regina and the EQ will re-merge eventually, what do you think Regina’s and Rumple’s interactions will be like afterward? What will Regina’s and Belle’s interactions be like?

The split!Queen and Rumple’s relationship was a can of worms I never really got into on tumblr when it was happening. However, I had a couple of anon’s hit up my 6A fix-it fic Right Kind of Wrong with questions about it. I replied on AO3 and never copied those comments over. Anyway, I don’t know if you wanted such a long answer but it’s what I’ve got.

GoldenQueen? Not quite.
Well first off I think calling it GoldenQueen is a mistake. That wasn’t Rumple and the Evil Queen, that was Rumple and the split!Queen which is different. The Evil Queen was a whole person – was Regina. This split!Queen is only half of a person, just as Regina at the moment is only half a person. So the Evil Queen on the show right now, isn’t the Evil Queen we know from flashbacks. The split!Queen made choices that Regina if she was whole, would never have made and it’s not about darkness either.

The split!Queen is a construct of magic. She’s not just Regina’s darkness because it has to be more complicated than that. Take Jekyll and Hyde as an example. Emotions that lead to darkness can’t be split, there’s still darkness in everyone. Jekyll split out the qualities he didn’t like in himself, but he kept negative qualities that he didn’t mind, like possessiveness which is what led to his darkness. The split!Queen is likely power-hungry, and vengeful, so the power of the Dark One would be like a siren calling. However, it’s not something that would call to Regina if she was whole.

So what was the Golden Queen relationship about?
split!Queen perspective
I didn’t like Regina’s statement that she and Rumple had always had a certain amount of chemistry. It was something that really bugged me. I know I probably shouldn’t say such a thing (people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones) but it was lazy writing. They wanted everyone to learn about Rumple and the Evil Queen, and they couldn’t think of a way to do it, so instead Regina just amazingly “knows.”

However, having said that. I did think about it quite carefully and I think that it’s possible that back in the day, when they were mentor and student, Regina could have had a bit of a crush on Rumple. Rumple had a lot of power, he was honest with her even if he wasn’t always kind, and he was giving her a way out of the life she hated – he was giving her back control. I think they probably flirted a bit as part of power plays but that’s as far as it went.

It’s been confirmed several times that they never had anything between them back in the day. Regina said “nothing happened” and the Evil Queen said the same to Zelena when they were at the spa. Anyway, from the split!Queen’s perspective she was once drawn to Rumple. There’s also the fact that what the split!Queen (and indeed Regina) have always struggled with is being alone. The split!Queen is the wounded part of Regina, who hungers for love and lashes out to make the world hurt, the way she hurts.

The split!Queen doesn’t want to be alone, and Rumple as the Dark One has power which could help her with her vengeance, and also help keep them safe. It’s his power that saved her in the past after all.

Rumple’s perspective
Self-destruction basically. Rumple had a lot of issues to begin with, but Neal’s death and his enslavement for a year at Zelena’s hands pushed him to the edge. Ever since then he’s lurched around, desperately trying to grab onto things that can save him – the hat, the author etc. but no matter what he does, it’s like he said in the season 5 finale “intentions are meaningless” – no matter what he does, he always loses. He tried to be a good man for Belle, he pulled Excalibur from the stone, he fought Hook with honor, and she still left him. Now, Belle had her reasons for that, and I’m not blaming her. Both Rumple and Belle bear responsibility for what happened to their relationship and I support them both. What I’m just saying, is from Rumple’s perspective it’s always lose/lose.

Now, he’s faced with being a father for a second time. He’s already buried one son and it has all but destroyed him. I do wonder if part of him isn’t purposefully self-destructing, so he’ll never have an opportunity to hurt this second child. I did wonder if maybe at first Rumple was hoping to make Belle jealous, to try and provoke a reaction to see if she still cared. To be honest though I don’t think he’s really thinking at all. There was clear evidence, that his mind is so full of panic and fear, that he’s not thinking logically in 6.04.

Rumple screwed up repeatedly in that episode, because he couldn’t see further than whatever answer he’d jumped too, which is a common problem for people with acute anxiety. He believed he was thinking everything through, but really he wasn’t. In many ways the split!Queen relationship is another stick for him to beat himself with. That being said I think a good part of him convinced himself that he was using the split!Queen to his benefit.

Basically I think he kept trying to keep on playing the game being – “Rumplestiltskin, the great dealmaker, the almighty Dark One” because if that’s how people see him, then they don’t see the defeated man he truly is deep inside. His reputation is like a mask and it’s all he has left. His repeated referral to himself in the third person backs this.

In terms of any pre-existing ‘chemistry’. In all honesty I don’t think Rumple would ever have actually been attracted to Regina, even pre-Belle because of Cora. I think Rumple did have genuine feelings for Cora and Cora hurt him badly. Regina was Cora’s daughter, and she followed in her mothers footsteps, he would never have allowed her to get so close.

Regina’s perspective
Regina has been where Rumple is right now, she hit rock bottom during season two. Her curse had been broken, she had lost Henry who had become what mattered most. It wasn’t just that she’d lost her son, it was that she had to watch him with Emma, sort of really twisting the knife – she’d been replaced. When she got to that point, Regina was very susceptible to manipulation – Cora came and twisted everything around until Regina was working with her mother.

It’s the same with Rumple, he’s lost everything that mattered to him, and it is being held just out of reach. In fact Belle is staying on the same ship, with the man that Rumple’s first wife ran off with. He is very vulnerable right now and he is very alone. Regina also knows what a massive self-loathing streak Rumple has. She has witnessed Rumple self-sabotaging himself before. Therefore it’s not a big leap for her to suspect that her Evil side would be drawn to Rumple, and then Rumple will be too beaten down to put up much of a fight.

Rumple refused the Evil Queen’s advances several times before he gave in, and Belle had crushed him with several very well chosen comments before he finally did give in. Now, I’m not blaming Belle for that, she is hurting and lashing out as much as Rumple is. Those two really need to talk with one another, rather than continuing the spiral of pain. I’m just saying Rumple is in a vulnerable place and Regina knows that.

Assuming a merge
what happens with Rumple and Regina then?
To be honest when it comes to this show, I expect that we won’t see any consequences on screen. It’ll be glossed over and they will all move on like it never happened.

In terms of the characters to be honest they are both adults and they both understood why it occurred, I think that they might launch a few barbs at one another over it and leave it at that. I don’t think things would be incredibly awkward or anything, they’ve both been through too much for that.

what about Belle and Regina?
Head and heart don’t always agree. I think Belle would try and be reasonable about it. Rumple and Belle were separated at the time and with everything that happened between them, they had no claim on the other. Belle told Rumple that, which I think was the opposite of what he wanted to hear, but in terms of their situation it was basically the truth. I reckon Belle would start off saying she didn’t care, and didn’t want to know, but in the end she would have to know the details and I think she would go to Regina for them.

Regina would be highly uncomfortable about it, and tell Belle what she really wanted to know, which was that it had been what her split self, and Rumple needed at the time, but that it hadn’t been true love. It had just been two lonely self-destruction souls seeking out the other. Knowing Regina she might then say something sarcastic like Rumple is a good kisser or “what’s one more tangle on this family tree?” or something. Then it’ll be over.

They’ve all gone through so much in Storybrooke, and committed countless crimes against one another. This is a more normal mess, but if they can move past all the other stuff, then they’ll move past this.

Under My Skin Belle: Lachlan is pretty cute… he seems good with his hands. Thoughts?

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Good with his hands? Why would you say that? *thinks about his deft movements as he bustled round his apartment* *thinks about how he used to play guitar, and the complicated patterns of the music* *blushes* Well I suppose it’s certainly possible but I hardly know him.

Besides it wasn’t his hands that made me look at him differently, and realize how attractive he is, it was his eyes. There’s more to him than first appearances suggest. I hope we get a chance to talk, I would like to get to know him better. Perhaps if we are on better terms, I won’t feel quite so murderous the next time Lachlan makes a racket. I might even be able to get him to stop.

Painting Layers of Love (Chapter Eight)

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rowofstars:

still-searching47:

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Synopsis: Belle French lives alone and she likes it that way. She’s lived alone ever since the terrible car accident which killed her mother and claimed her eyesight. Belle spends her days painting, in complete solitude, until one day she wakes up and hears movement outside. Somebody has moved into the cottage next door. She had grown comfortable in her solitary existence until Mr Gold crashes into her life. Now her future is uncertain, like a blank canvas, waiting for her to apply the paint and decide what kind of story she is creating.

Note: Banner by the awesomely amazing @rowofstars who has very kindly and patiently beta read this chapter. Thank you so much!

Warning: Deals with depression and anxiety.

On Tumblr: Chapters One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven

AO3 Link

When Gold woke
up, it was to the disturbing fact that he didn’t remember falling asleep. His
head was pounding, and his mouth tasted like something had died in it. That
would be the whiskey on all counts. It took him a moment to realize that the
noise reverberating around his skull, wasn’t just his headache, the phone was
ringing. Wincing, Gold pulled himself up from where he had been drooling into
his pillow, his hand grasping for the phone on the side table.

“What?” Gold
barked.

He regretted it
a second later, as his head throbbed anew and his gut churned. He hated
hangovers, this was why he usually never had more than a couple of drinks. He
couldn’t understand paying for the privilege of feeling this awful. However,
last night had been a special case. He’d tossed back the expensive whiskey like
water, wanting to block out Belle calling for him, and to stop the ache in his
heart. He’d just wanted to forget.

Keep reading

MY BABIES! I think this is the most they have talked things out yet and it feels so good. This was a joy to read and I’m excited for where they go from here even though I know it’s a long road. They’ve already changed each other just by their existence. Gold’s understanding towards Belle seems to have renewed her faith in people being decent and maybe accepting her. Belle’s sweetness and vulnerability calls to Gold in a way that makes him curious about her but also want to protect her. I know that can be shaky ground to start a relationship on, but they have so much potential to further help and change each other if they are brave enough to pursue it.

Heh well it is slow burn. Jumping into a relationship would be a mistake, of course Belle does like to run before she can walk. Anyway, yeah they talked over recent events, which will put them in a much better place to move forward. They are both now ready to try and move forward, which is a huge step and a turning point for them. Thank you so much for all your support! I’m really glad you are enjoying the fic 🙂

the1ultimatefan:

*basically almost trips self trying to get to comments*
OHHHHHH MYYYYYY GAAAAAAAAWWWWWWDDDDDDDD
*SCREAMING*

DUDE.
DUDE.
THE BABIES ARE TAAAAAAAAAAAALKIIIIIIIIIIIINGGGGGGGG <3 <3 <3 <3

OHHHHHH THEY’RE MAKING SO MUCH PROGRESS!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

(in other news, i gave you props on one of your other fics here, and i’m writing it about it on this post cause Tumblr’s being a shitlord and won’t let me properly link you, and thought you’d like to see it <3)

I-CAN’T-EVEN-WITH-THESE-FEELS-MAN OUT OF TEN

Hehe I love your gifs. Thank you so much! Your enthusiasm always puts a smile on my face. I’m so glad you enjoyed it! Yup they are talking, communication is good. Thanks again! 🙂

worryinglyinnocent:

I knew there was something I’d forgotten to read last night. I’m so glad that they’re back on the same page now. But oh my word, all through their conversation I was practically screaming at them to stop getting the wrong end of the stick and just let the other talk! I think that’s a flaw of Belle’s that carries through into this AU very well, that she will always jump in with both feet and start making assumptions, and Rumple/Gold’s appalling timing has again carried across well.

I’m sincerely hoping that this is the start of an upward swing for them!

Heh yeah they deserve a bit of peace, before the inevitable over-reach and ensuing crisis. Yeah they were so wrapped up in blaming themselves, it was a wonder that they managed to actually talk it out. Thank you so much! I’m really glad you enjoyed it 🙂

bookwormchocaholic:

So happy to see this updated! I missed it. Some of Belle’s struggles really resonate with me; the anxiety, depression, and agoraphobia.

Things might still be a little rocky between them, but they’ve talked at least, figured somethings out. And they were hugging in the end, so ::whew::! They are perfect for one another; he is so driven that he can help her work through some of her issues; and she can help him mellow out and get a few hobbies. And Neal, bless him, such a good guy!

Yeah, sorry for the wait. That wasn’t intentional and every time I post a chapter I swear I’m going to do better, and then it’s another month again. I’m glad you still liked the chapter! Yup them talking was a turning point. I agree that Neal means well. He has his biases, and made some mistakes, and he can be quite unreasonable where his dad is concerned, but that doesn’t mean he’s not a decent guy. He’s just human. Anyway, thank you so much! 🙂

For Your Consideration

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Hey everyone *waves* I joined the fandom in May, so this is my first TEA experience. I’ve really enjoyed writing fanfic for Rumbelle and being part of this community. Thank you all for being so welcoming! I’m not really very comfortable with self-promo but I’m going to give this a whirl.

If anyone feels like nominating any of my fics, here are my suggestions, along with my best guesses as to the categories. As I’m new all my fics are eligible and you can nominate in whatever categories you feel best.

Anyway here goes 🙂

Fluff: Family

I Love the Way – Following directly on from All Hallow’s Fall. Due to the events of Halloween, Storybrooke finally becomes aware of Gold and Belle’s relationship and small towns can be vicious places. Gold fears it will tear them apart, but adversity can lead to strength not just ruin, and maybe even one day – a happy ending. [Tumblr, AO3]

Fluff: Comfort / Character: Best Woobie!Rum

In Your Arms – Retired soldier and single father Gold works at a coffee shop library. Plagued by nightmares of the war he’s quiet, only interacting with customers when necessary. His favorite customer is Belle, who comes in a couple of times a week. Her smile is as bright as the sun. One day she comes in upset and for a moment he is brave enough to ask her what is wrong. [Tumblr, AO3]

Smut: Comedy

Once Upon a Lifetime – Belle French’s life revolves around books. During the day she works as a librarian, and in the evenings she writes stories of her own. Everyday she watches Mr. Gold lock up his shop and everyday she swears that she’ll wave or do something, but she never does. If this were one of her stories then Mr. Gold would have noticed her watching him, and one day their eyes would meet and he would confess that he liked her as well. The problem was, life wasn’t a story. If it was, then Belle would have written herself a happy ending a long time ago. [Tumblr, AO3]

General: Best Post-Ep Fic

Right Kind of Wrong – Following on from the events of 6.07 – Heartless. Hope can be found in even the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light. Storybrooke has faced many challenges, with good always beating evil but they did that together, and now they are split apart. The story must play out but the ending might not be what anyone expects. [Tumblr, AO3]

General: Best Holiday Fic

All Hallow’s Fall – Belle and Gold have been together for a few months when Halloween approaches. After some pumpkin carving goes wrong, and Gold is injured, they work together to ensure that Bae’s spooky sleepover goes ahead as planned. [Tumblr, AO3]

Special: Best Drama

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Painting Layers of Love – Belle French lives alone and she likes it that way. She’s lived alone ever since the terrible car accident which killed her mother and claimed her eyesight. Belle spends her days painting, in complete solitude, until one day she wakes up and hears movement outside. Somebody has moved into the cottage next door. She had grown comfortable in her solitary existence until Mr Gold crashes into her life. Now her future is uncertain, like a blank canvas, waiting for her to apply the paint and decide what kind of story she is creating. [Tumblr, AO3]

Special: Best Season Rewrite

The War Within – Alternate Season Six. Storybrooke is visibly under threat once more from Hyde and the Evil Queen. However, not all threats are visible as an old forgotten foe has been manipulating events from behind the scenes. The very nature of darkness is revealed as everyone struggles with the most difficult beast of all – acceptance. [Tumblr, AO3]

Events: Rumbelle Revelry

The Beauty and the Tragedy – When Mr. Gold calls in Lord French’s marker, bankrupting his estate, it leaves Lady Belle with nowhere to go until Mr. Gold offers her a deal. She enters his service as a maid and true love blossoms between them. Belle dreams of forever but there is a room, which is permanently locked, that stands in the way. [NSFW] [Tumblr, AO3]

Events: Rumbelle Secret Santa

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Conspiracy Afloat – When Mr. Gold buys Storybrooke marina, one of the marina’s few permanent residents, Belle French, swears he won’t get away with it. She sets sail and anchors in a remote cove and that night Belle witnesses a murder. At first light she returns to the marina to report it … but nobody believes her. Gold’s purchase of the marina now takes on even more sinister implications, and her growing attraction towards him only complicates matters. Vowing to investigate herself, if the sheriffs won’t, Belle soon starts to unravel a town-wide conspiracy. [Tumblr, AO3]

Character: Best Lacey

Fall All Over Again – Before the first Dark Curse the Evil Queen had a paranoid moment, which meant in cursed Storybrooke, Gold and Lacey were married. Therefore when Belle falls over the town line – Lacey returns. Everyone is shouting at her, and everything is wrong, so Lacey does something she never did once in 28 years of marriage, she turns to Gold for protection. In turn Rumplestiltskin does something that Gold never did in 28 years of marriage – he tells Lacey that he loves her. Belle loved him, so can Lacey fall for him all over again or will the curse mask true love forever? [NSFW] [Tumblr, AO3]

If you feel like it, you could also nominate me for the Newbie Spotlight. Thank you for your time 🙂

Once Upon a Lifetime – stillsearching47 – Once Upon a Time (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

Link

Once Upon a Lifetime – stillsearching47 – Once Upon a Time (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

theultimatensfw:

Once Upon a Lifetime

by stillsearching47 a.k.a. @still-searching47 (EDIT: of COURSE i finally find you on Tumblr and then tumblr’s like LOLNOPE U CAN’T LINK PEOPLE LIKE A COOL PERSON :trollface: I CAN’T EVEN TUMBLR)

HOKAY!
SO!
A SUUUUUUUUPER LONG TIME AGO, I READ THIS AWESOME FIC CALLED WHAT YOU KNOW BY @bad-faery (which, yes, i did a post about to this blog already, but don’t care, linking it again XD) AND AFTER READING IT ABOUT, OH, I DON’T KNOW, ABOUT 10 FUCKIN TIMES THAT DAY ALONE I WAS LIKE “YOU KNOW WHAT’D BE AWESOME ACTUALLY? A VERSION OF THIS KIND OF FIC WHERE BELLE IS THE ONE WRITING SMUTTY FANFICS N SHIT-

…..*AND THEN ”ONCE UPON A LIFETIME” BECAME A THING THAT EXISTS*

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OH MY GOD YOU GUYS.
YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND.
THIS FIC IS SO FREAKIN CHARMING, YOU’RE GONNA LOVE IT
THIS IS ONE OF THOSE “PUT DOWN EVERYTHING YOU’RE FUCKIN DOIN LIKE RN AND GO READ THIS” FICS. JUST SAYIN.

SO HERE’S WHAT UP:
As you can tell, Belle is, essentially, a smut fic author (*which is revealed pretty early on in the story and it’s even in the description to some extent, so, no worries, not TOO spoiler-y lol) in this verse, and she’s crushing SO hard on Mr. Gold that’s it’s just flat out ADORABLE.
This fic as a whole isn’t even ‘NSFW-y’ PER SAY, it’s mainly when Belle’s working on her latest story, but OH MY GOD. SRSLY. THIS IS MAINLY WHERE THE CHARM HAPPENS AND IT’S SO GOOD FFFFFFFFFFFF

Like, first off, the NSFW element DEFINITELY comes in in the dialogue and plot of the story she’s writing that we actually get to see (*SRSLY. GURL. IF YOU ACTUALLY WROTE OUT ALL OF WHAT HAPPENS BEFORE THE SCENE THAT’S WRITTEN OUT HERE, I WOULD SO TOTALLY FUCKIN READ THAT SHIT AND I’D PROBABLY FREAK THE FUCK OUT CAUSE IT’D BE LIKE EXPANDING THE ‘VERSE IN A WAY AND JUST- *flails*), and everything surrounding it is basically her methodically processing the scene she’s trying to write
…AND IT’S SO. REALISTIC. OH MY GOD.
I ALMOST FELL OVER LAUGHING AT SOME PARTS, NOT EVEN CAUSE IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A FUNNY SCENE (neither the scene she’s writing or her rl perspective) OR ANYTHING, BUT CAUSE IT’S LITERALLY SO RIDICULOUSLY SPOT ON AND RELATABLE, AND I PRACTICALLY WASN’T EXPECTING THE TYPE OF PERSPECTIVE I GOT TO READ HERE
IT’S JUST FUCKIN GREAT AND I LOVED IT.

…..SO NOW IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME, I NEED TO COMMENT ON THE ACTUAL AO3 COMMENTS OF THIS FIC CAUSE I FUCKIN LOVE THIS, AND Y’ALL WILL BE PRACTICALLY DEMANDING A SEQUEL TO THIS STORY JUST LIKE I’M BASICALLY ABOUT TO DO CAUSE IT’S THAT. AWESOME. SRSLY.

ALL-OF-EVERYBODY’S-SMUT-WRITING-FEELS-AND-ROM-COM-Y-’RL’-PLOT-FOR-ALL-OF-MY-YES-AND-THE-WINNING-AT-EVERYTHING OUT OF TEN

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I’ve literally been re-reading this comment since you linked it a couple of hours ago. I have no idea what to say, I’m utterly overwhelmed. You are far too kind and just wow, thank you so much for your lovely words. I appreciate it so much. Also thanks for linking me this post, I hadn’t seen it before thanks to tumblr misbehaving.

I do accept prompts, so if you want the verse expanded in any particular direction you can always hit up my askbox 🙂 Thank you again, I am just overwhelmed. You are incredible!

#i wish i could respond more eloquently but you have just killed me with compliments#there are no words

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Don’t mind me I’m just laughing at myself.

I just bought The Last Enemy, The Tournament and To End All Wars. If I’m not mistaken, then I think I’ll have accumulated £4 video credit through various offers. Summer is available to rent for 99p, and then I’ll have £3.07 of credit left. I can definitely get at least one more movie out of that, maybe two.

Best of all – this has all been free. Well I had a £10 gift card but I’ll have got basically 6 movies out of that. Not going to lie, I’m kinda pleased with myself, I like getting a good deal.

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I had £2 of Amazon Video credit that was expiring today, so for an additional 49p I rented the original Trainspotting because I’ve never seen it. I’m just laughing at myself now because I never would have considered watching it, if it weren’t for a certain actor.

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I guess I’m going to have to see the sequel now as well when I can heh 🙂

whitesheepcbd replied to your post:
I had £2 of Amazon Video credit that was expiring…

I considered watching them both just for RC, but tbh they don’t seem like my type of movies at all. I’ll probably be skipping them, unless someone can convince me they’re about something more than drug addicts behaving badly.

To be honest from reading the descriptions on IMDB, I think 95% of Robert Carlyle’s filmography isn’t my type of thing. When I saw the Legend of Barney Thomson, the whole way through I was going “Why am I watching this? This is so weird!” but for some reason every now and then I decide to watch one of his credits anyway. There are some things that I will never watch like 28 Weeks Later. I would have nightmares for weeks, no thank you.

Maybe it’s the anyelle fic, but I do have a few more on the list that I will somehow watch one day. I got a £10 amazon gift voucher for Christmas, which isn’t really enough to buy anything specific but there’s a fair few movies on the marketplace I might be able to snap up for cheap e.g. Plunkett and Macleane is 19p, The Tournament is 48p etc. I’ll have to check what postage does to the prices and see how I can best maximize what I can get but I’m considering it.

It’s the anyelle, seriously I’m blaming the fic 🙂