Category Archives: Stream of Thought

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sarcasticsciencefictionwriter asked:

For the Writing-WIP ask game, 23 and 37, if you don’t mind? 😊

23) Do you make your own wip covers?

Yup. It’s actually an ambition of mine to get good enough at drawing to be able to make all my book covers properly. Not there yet and I might never be but it’s a dream. Anyway for original novels I just do quick temp covers with a vaguely related royalty free stock image + text, nothing fancy. For fandom it depends I have done photo manips, I have done drawings, and for Sanctuary I did quite a few gifsets. I generally like to provide some kind of banner image to liven up the post whatever it is 🙂

37) Name a series you’ve abandoned writing

Ok I’m going to take the word ‘series’ loosely here. For the most part I am relatively good at finishing what I have started posting. Dredging my memory I think I have only abandoned 4 fanfics in my /cough 20+ years /cough. The first I was about 12 and it’s a very long story to explain. The second I was 19, it was a self-indulgent crossover and I wrote part 1 (it ended on a cliffhanger), but then I could not work out how to keep it going with the crossover element. It just failed the logic test of why everyone would still be included and so I posted all of my notes/thoughts as an epilogue (this was on ff.net) and gave up.

Where I start to feel guilty is with the more recent ones. I wrote for Once Upon a Time for a year or so and I really wanted people to like me, I wanted to feel included. So I jumped on every prompt going. My desperation could probably have been seen from space 🙄. Anyway I wrote two chapters of a rare… crossover pair (hard to explain anyelle quickly but basically that) and then I had so many WIPs in those days that it just constantly fell to the bottom of the pile and when I ran out of steam and stopped, it’s what was left undone. The other one I feel even more guilty about as I actually won a fandom award for it. That was called Painting Layers of Love, and the problem with that is I poured far too much of my own anxiety into one of the characters, and then obviously I wanted the character to be happy which meant dealing with their issues. Problem is I don’t know how to “fix it” as I can’t fix myself. So I stalled as I couldn’t see a way out and eventually just officially abandoned it /guilt /guilt.

For original novels… I struggle with the ‘abandoned’ part because I might go back to it, or I will cannibalise it and use parts elsewhere. I mean sure technically there is a series. I actually indie published Book One. I thought I had been so sensible as I had waited until I had drafted Book Two but I was behind and it was only a first draft. I should have had it fully ready, and if I had waited I would have known, but I had booked promotions and so couldn’t delay. Anyway when I went to revise Book Two it just fell apart. I tried redrafting it from scratch but I could just not make it work. Fortunately nobody had been all that interested and so I took Book One down quietly and decided to chalk it up to experience. I later indie published the first two novels in another series and had to also take them down (this time due to a mental breakdown) buuut that’s another story. And that series really isn’t abandoned as I do intend to fix it up and republish eventually. But yes I suppose the time travel crime series is abandoned. I get nostalgic for it but I don’t know that I will pick it up again. Never say never of course. But my original ideas are many (I could write solidly for a decade and not be done) so it’s not like I need to go back to it.

Thanks for the ask ❤️

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This might be petty I don’t know but I bought a new mattress today. Mine is 25 years old and killing my back. Anyway! As part of the purchase I had to give my full name including title…

There was Doctor and Mr. Then there was Miss, Ms and Mrs, as apparently even in 2023 we are still defining women by marital status. None of the above was not an option.

I just feel like this is a micro example of how pervasive gendered shit can be. First I don’t know why a title is even mandatory. Sure be proud if you worked to become a doctor but otherwise personal choice, no? Second as NB there was no valid option, I had to pick one, and that sucks. But even not being NB why are there still three options for women based on marital status? That just feels so wrong.

So yeah we need a neutral title and/or make titles not be mandatory AND we should make a title for women not based on relationship. I suppose Ms. is supposed to be that which is probably why it got so much stigma. But I can’t speak to that for sure as I haven’t researched it.

Anyway thought of the day.

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tinknevertalks asked:

Sanctuary + 9, and Helen Magnus + 8, please and thank you. 🙂

9) which characters I think should have interacted more in canon

James + everyone really. Honestly it was an absolute crime that he was only in five episodes. 5! Haha for The Five 🤣 sorry bad joke. Yeah I do know that for all my interest The Five weren’t the main characters. Alas poor Nigel you are around 80% headcanon.

To be more specific I wish we had seen more James + Henry and Ashley. I have obviously my interpretation/shippy headcanons for Helen and James’ relationship. So those are Helen’s kids and in a kinder world James would have been a father to them. Due to time travel nonsense (headcanon) he was more distant but I have to believe he would have still been part of their lives. Not to replace Biggie of course who had a huge loving role to them. Just I don’t know. Even if you don’t ship the OT3 (or James with either John or Helen separately) Ashley was still the only child of the Five, and all the history of John I just think there was so much there that could have been explored.

To be honest Ashley only being in one season (and why was that? I should google) meant that while she had some interaction with John everything was left unresolved, and there wasn’t much interaction with Nikola etc. It’s like the moment she really learned the truth of her existence she was ‘killed off’ (I headcanon she lives but we don’t see her on screen again).

8) a headcanon I have about this character

Ok let’s think what is canon, and what have I made-up and forgotten is made-up as I have repeated it too many times?

Was it ever officially confirmed Helen was on the Titanic or did we just get that from the opening credits? Because there is that.

I have my shippy headcanons (as I alluded to earlier) regarding why James didn’t move with Helen to Old City – the time travelling version of Helen didn’t have anyone else and he couldn’t be with two versions lest current!timeline Helen think he was cheating. There’s also how/when I think they all got together etc. Not sure that really counts as a Helen headcanon though.

Hmm I firmly believe time travel Helen saved both Ashley and James by ‘colouring between the lines’. So long as everything happened how she remembered it, who is to say it wasn’t always this way? (Time loop). I also believe very strongly that Helen and Nikola were working together the entire time in season 4 and that he was undercover kinda with SCIU.

I have written in a few times that I think Helen was given the source blood by an abnormal she helped.

I don’t know there’s probably more but it’s a bit like with “what’s your favourite quote?” question. As unless there is something utterly huge, I kinda need something more specific to prod the old memory to conjure it up.

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sarcasticsciencefictionwriter asked:

Sanctuary: #8 and Helen/John/James: #11, please!

Awesome thank you ❤️

8) a quote from it that means a lot to me

There are quotes that I like (I put most of them on the calendar mum made me) but I can’t think of something profound, even though Sanctuary does have very meaningful vibes. The whole ethos of the Sanctuary, that differences are just accepted, means a lot to me. Sorry I know that’s not a very good answer. I am sure there probably is a quote. I hate that I can’t think of one 😳 I swear my memory is either ridiculously good with media (like remember every little thing), or its lousy and I feel embarrassed because this is what I love, and therefore I should remember it well.

11) how quickly I started shipping them when I got into the fandom

Oh man straight away. I mean if it hadn’t been for them I wouldn’t have probably got into any kind of Sanctuary fandom. They are why I was driven to create, and by creating I joined the community.

That first episode with James is what totally hooked me on the show. Seeing James and John interact with the “battle of wits” and how James worked with Helen, the deep friendship, and how they just sparkled together. The little glances, the subtle touches, the staggering history. I think it says something that I wrote a 50k fanfic branching off from that episode quite soon after (it was my NaNo project).

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anneelliotscat asked:

OUAT: #6 , and Rumbelle, #8!

Oh yay! Thank you for the ask ❤️

6) which is my favorite platonic or familial relationship in this world

Obsessions wax and wane and it’s been a minute since Once ruled my brain. The first answer that came to mind was Regina and Henry.

Regina is fascinating and given Once’s… erm shall we say less than consistent writing (and that’s generous) I find it amusing having read a ton of writing craft books this year, that Regina is textbook for emotional wound and then a thematic positive change arc. We know what tipped her into being a villain and we saw the struggle to change, and that change started in her vault when she took the memory potion.

Think about it Regina wanted revenge, but her need was for safety/safety drawn from control as she had never had control over her life totally. Even as the Evil Queen she was more afraid than anything. The dark curse gave her revenge and control but they were drawn from the thematic lie. Because it came from the lie, it was a hollow ‘victory’ which the show lampshaded as a “hole in her heart” (a magical thing) but just as a person it’s an emotional wound.

When Regina got Henry she was grasping. She knew she needed to make a change but wasn’t at all ready to give up the lie/start the positive change arc. She got Henry for what he could do for her. Learning he was the legacy of her appointed nemesis – that was basically an anvil hovering threatening the security of the lie (dark curse revenge/control) – she could have retreated to the pain/darkness but instead she chose Henry AND she gave up the control by losing her advantage of foreknowledge. She could have prepared/been vigilant but instead she allowed her future self to be blindsided as the love for Henry was stronger than her fear.

Stronger than her fear. I mean how incredible is that.

I have often said that I think love is the ultimate expression of trust. Now this is getting long and so I won’t say much more but it would be negligent of me not to mention the true loves kiss that broke the second curse. Regina’s heart wasn’t in her chest – she wasn’t supposed to be able to feel, to love – and yet she loved her son so much magic answered. She had so much baggage and she had her toxic moments but she tried, and she did the work. When she fell into her mothers example, she realised and let Henry go, she broke the cycle.

I don’t know I just have feelings. Regina was not the biological mum, and media historically doesn’t treat them well, but Once generally did. If I had to say that any relationship formed the backbone of the show it would either be this, Regina and Henry mother and son, or it would be Rumple and Bae/Neal, father and son. Driving forces really.

8) if I’m most interested in fics about them that focus on fluff, angst, humor, smut or actual plot?

Hmm it would be between fluff or actual plot. Rumbelle rarely got to be happy and if canon won’t give me that, then fic can. But I do also like to see their issues resolved, and so their happiness is… earned isn’t the right word. But there are consequences when stuff happens and Rumbelle on the show were either kept apart, or shoving everything under the metaphorical rug. So yeah actual plot can deal with things the show didn’t.

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Anonymous asked:

5 29 40 for the ask meme

Yay! 😍😍😍 thank you so so much for the ask 🤗😁🎉

Ok buckle up full disclosure despite it having been at least around a 6 year mission so far I still have not seen all of Trek. My status in summary:

TOS: about mid season 1 I think

TNG: mid season 4

VOY: mid season 5

DS9: end of season 3

ďżźENT: completed

Disco: up until season 4

PIC: completed

SNW: completed

Prodigy: completed

Lower Decks: I watched 1 episode

TV movies: completed

Kelvin movies: completed

I give this summary because inevitably I will forget something cool that I have seen and then kick myself when I remember, but I definitely won’t list what I haven’t seen. So hopefully that explains any anomalies. So without further ado!

5. Episode plot you wish they had handled differently?

I am going to go with what first popped into my head which is the Voyager episode 4.17 Retrospect. Frothing rage is the best description of how I felt. I was appalled and I get that it can be brushed off as the show being “of it’s time” but I hate that excuse, and the whole “we don’t trust your word we need physical proof, oh we don’t have it so you are wrong and let’s feel sorry for the maybe bad guy” just made me want to hurl. I can’t believe that wasn’t a terrible message back then. I mean tell me the writers room was a boys club without telling me. The whole feeling was just so so gross and I was going to fix it in my “Raffi on Voyager” fic but then I never wrote it.

Presuming we have to keep the ambiguity of “did this actually happen” and Trek is supposed to ask the hard questions, so ok, then bare minimum Seven should have had someone validate her. I don’t mean the Doctor who was creepy, and then made the mess about how bad he felt/his pain. I mean someone that was like “you believe it happened, then I believe it happened, as whether it did or not you feel like it did” because that feeling of violation stayed. Seven should have had support and care for her trauma not told “oh it never happened so feel sorry for this guy as you are the reason he’s dead, we should never have believed you” – I am getting so mad thinking about it.

It can remain a complex situation but the lack of physical proof doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, and making it all about everyone else’s ‘guilt’ just no. I get there has to be a burden of proof because accusations without evidence can be untrue and ruin lives, but ugh it just felt bad. I am sure there is a way to have the complex plot and not feel so icky. I just was so angry and upset for Seven.

29. Favorite and least favorite episodes?

Well I could name a good chunk of SNW as favourites haha. Special shout out to The Elysian Kingdom 😁 but even SNW has its duds. I found 2.05 Charades a chore to get through.

2.01 The 37’s from Voyager is one my mind often returns to as a favourite because dammit Amelia Earhart should have gone on Voyager and become a pilot. Which raises a good point in that unfortunately for a large part of Trek the version in my head is often better than the show… I wanted to watch something of Trek for Star Trek Day and I vacillated between the shows. I was like hmm “Kira and Dax” or “B’elanna and Seven” and then the crushing ugh that unless I rewatched I couldn’t guarantee they would even have good screentime, probably wouldn’t interact at all, and would never get to act as badass as I believe they are.

There’s the usual suspects on the fave list from Voyager like Year of Hell, Killing Game etc. I already covered one episode of Voyager which makes me rage. There are moments in others. I can’t recall a favourite DS9 episode. With that it’s like most Trek in that my faves don’t get much chance to shine so I have favourite scenes more than episodes.

I am currently trying to push through and watch all of TNG as I know Worf joins DS9 in season 4 and I thought I should at least pretend to watch some things in order. But ugh. TNG is like the characters are familiar and I don’t dislike them, but I am often not compelled. TOS is worse and I think it’s probably maybe a stylistic thing. Part of me wants to watch as I am interested in Trek lore, and there are good moments here and there that I like, but there’s also a big dose of obligation.

I try not to dwell on the negative which I think is why I am not listing a bunch for “least favourite” as I would rather think about what I love. But as I said for Trek (and a lot of other shows to be honest) there is a sense of general disappointment as the version in my head – the potential the amazing characters have – is better than what is on screen. So there’s that.

40. If you got a trek inspired tattoo what would it be?

Hmm. I don’t have tattoos. I am a huge wimp and far too scared. Also they are permanent and I am not sure that I am that passionate about anything, that I will still feel that strong about it in twenty years.

I am trying to give this serious thought. I am tossing quotes round in my head but there’s nothing that comes to mind, nothing that resonates so hard it’s written on my heart (and therefore could be written on my skin).

Maybe just the StarFleet badge. It’s interesting that it’s a shaped triangle (kinda) as on Stargate the home symbol is a triangle with a circle on top. Haha maybe a joint tattoo merging the two. Well no but cool concept.

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Liveblog of Ahsoka episode 4. I didn’t have the spoons to watch yesterday which is why I am a day late.

Usual drill. Here there be spoilers. Also much autistic flapping because [redacted] but oh man!!!!! So so so happy to see it 🙂 🙂 🙂

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I just purged my Instagram account. I was only using it as a personal record so it’s no big thing. I just super super loathe the idea of AI. Although if it learned off my work it would just get all my mistakes as I’m still learning haha. But nah it’s the principle.

I don’t write anything on Facebook and I don’t have Twitter/X (whatever that’s called now). Just a big fuck you to AI learning to replace creatives. I just I hate it so so much.

The one fact which makes me feel better (but I also hate because it’s so sad that it’s a thing) is that currently I believe AI can’t create queer art so well. The prejudice in the world is learned and baked into the AI which sucks, but at least there’s still (currently) a place for me to create. I can write queer stories and draw queer art and it will still matter (hopefully). On one hand it would be good if the AI got the prejudice knocked out of it because prejudice sucks and should be eradicated. But also yeah I like the thought that all my effort in trying to improve my skills isn’t yet totally meaningless. Both things can be true.

But yeah fuck AI.