Fandom question 10. And I feel you for time vanishing, I have no idea had it’s May already either :)

Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in?

Yes? No? I’m trying to think. I read a lot of Harry Potter fic back in the day but … I might have written a few oneshots. Ditto with Alias. Hmm, recently I’ve read some Agents of Shield fic and I haven’t written any of that! … yet and yet is kinda the operative word.

Fitzsimmons is my OTP and they keep getting separated and hurt, and diving through holes in the universe to save one another. I kinda want to fix it and make them happy. About the only reason why I haven’t written fic yet is that I’m 5 episodes behind the US so it feels odd to write fic, when further developments have happened. All bets are off once I finish season four and the hiatus is on.

So yeah I think that if I read fic then sooner or later I usually wind up writing something. I just can’t help myself.

I hate it when I’m at the point in the fic where I think it’s the most rubbish fic in the world. It makes it really hard to keep going. *pokes fic* I’m sure you have some redeeming features right? *looks at it dubiously* you aren’t as bad as I think right? Yeah … I hope.

In Your Arms/To Be Loved! Jamie, Belle, and Neal: So would you three consider ever moving in together? Or is it too soon for that?

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I’d like nothing more. It’s a perfect dream. A life with Belle? Coming home, sleeping beside her every night, being a family? That would make me the luckiest man alive but … my head and heart say different things. I love Belle, and she loves me, I don’t understand why but I believe her.

Loving me will bring her nothing but pain and hardship but I can’t push her away for her own good, because Belle is like a shining light and it would be like saying I know better than she does and I don’t. The decision will always be hers. She deserves better than me. I want a life with her desperately but I also want her to be happy. I don’t know what to do.

It’s probably also too soon. We haven’t been dating that long after all and decisions made in haste are often mistakes. It may feel right now but when reality bites? I don’t dare broach the subject but I’ll try to tell Belle all of this if she asks. I don’t have anything to offer her, so the least I can do is be honest.

Can I pick door number all of them? Seriously, both 1 and 2 sounds amazing and the other fics you have planned are right up my alley!!! Everything you do is so wonderful!!!!! But (and feel free to reject this!) what if in 2 Belle and Gold start their affair, both trying to pretend it’s not as big a deal as it is, and then Gold’s taken. Belle spends months worrying about him and wishing she’d been brave enough to tell him the truth. When he’s saved she’s worried about overwhelming him (part 1)

(part 2) so she doesn’t tell him right away, but makes it clear through her actions that she feels more for him then just a way to scratch an itch. But Gold doesn’t believe her actions or words at first, thinking she’s just reacting to him almost dying and being her kind Belle self. There’d be angst and misunderstanding and she’d think he was pulling away while he hero-ed and then the climax on the roof would happen and the truth of their feelings would come out!!!

I’m sorry, I’ll stop writing your fic now >.< This idea clearly ran away with me!!! But please feel free to ignore it all.

You don’t have to apologize! Never apologize! I love chatting with you and your idea sounds great! 🙂 I didn’t have anything past “mutually pining and pretending they don’t care” and so you’ve completely solved the ‘how do we get from scenario 2, to their happy ending’.

I mean the ‘canon’ fic wasn’t all that different. They were both mutually pining idiots before Gold was kidnapped, just in the original vision they didn’t have this affair which obviously adds complications/layers to the situation. Although quite why I’m talking “canon” about the backstory for a fic which I haven’t written is quite bizarre. After all, I haven’t written it so in theory the fic we’re spinning now, could be the actual story.

Anyway, time seems to be running away from me right now. I have no idea how it got to be May. I have at least half a dozen fics I’ve promised already but I’ll certainly put this on the list. Hopefully it’ll be a nice surprise for you before your next birthday heh but given time’s disappearing act lately…

SAM!!! WHAT CAN I OFFER YOU TO GET SOME OF THAT ANGST?! They’re so happy, why do I want to see an AU where they suffer?! Feels are so weird! *side eyes self* I love this verse so much I just want it all!!!

An AU of an AU fic I’ve only referenced and not written. Is that even allowed? I mean I thought perhaps I’d gone too far when I wrote a sequel to a fic I’d not written yet. Besides which AU version did you want?

1) Where Belle thinks Gold has feelings, agrees to his ‘just sex proposal’ and then afterwards tries to talk to him about it. He denies he feels anything towards her, because he thinks she doesn’t have feelings. It’s possible he’s quite rude as a self-protection thing. Misunderstandings ensue and outright misery.

2) Where Belle thinks Gold has no interest in her beyond scratching the itch with someone discrete. Gold thinks that Belle only agreed for much the same reason given the hours that they both work, and how difficult it must be for her to have a relationship because she works so much. They both secretly love one another and massively pine while pretending they don’t care, and that it’s just about the sex.

I have no idea how to resolve either one off the top of my head. At some point they need to be honest but it’s working out what triggers that confession and reconciliation. What do you think? The second scenario is a little bit similar to two other AU’s I already have.

The first is the Business AU (Sweet Masquerade) where basically it’s just sex and they are both fine with that but the longer they are together, the more intimate it gets and feelings kinda emerge gradually. Because it’s a gradual thing it feels natural and there’s no big ‘realization’ moment, they just sort of slowly share more of their lives until they have a relationship as well. Maybe one day one of them remarks on it, but it’s not a big thing. This is 99% headcanon as I’ve only written that one little oneshot, and I don’t have any actual plans to write anymore in this verse, but sometimes I write more anyway when prompts happen.

The second is coincidentally the fic I haven’t written, where I wrote the sequel first. It’s GoldenLace and I’ve actually almost completely outlined it, I just haven’t written it but I will (I mean it’s all planned!). It’s just sex, and then when they realize they are getting too close, by mutual and unspoken agreement they stop seeing one another. Then by accident a few months later they bump into one another, admit how badly they missed each other, and start up again. They still don’t talk about the future much but they have dinner and talk about themselves/likes and dislikes etc. in addition to the sex. Then one day their relationship is made public, and that’s when they admit the feelings.

I have a long list of things to write but I’m happy to add to it, if you tell me what you’d like 🙂

Costume Party!Belle, if Gold had proposed sleeping together before he was taken, how would you have responded? Would you have taken it because you thought that was all you could have? Or would you have rejected the idea because you would have wanted all of him not just his body?

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I … I’m not sure.

Without hearing how the proposition was made it’s difficult to know. If there had been any suggestion that he had feelings then I would have agreed, thinking that we could talk about it. Knowing Cal as I do now, I suspect that would have been a disaster of misunderstandings, especially if he wasn’t honest because he was trying to protect himself from being hurt.

If it had sounded like the clinical “we’re two consenting adults, it’s just a biological urge, an itch to scratch” then I hope I would have said no. Being so close to him, and yet so far away, would have hurt. From what I know now, it would have hurt us both. However … the temptation to just pretend, and also not to lose him…

Basically I’m glad it never came up. I think it would have been painful and ended badly and we might never have got it sorted, and wound up as happy together as we are.

(OOC: The angst potential!)

Costume Party!Gold, before you and Belle got together and before being taken prisoner, did you ever think of Belle romantically? And if so did you ever think she could return your feelings? (Or did you ever think of her in a short term kind of fling and you didn’t want to ruin what you had?)

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I was never the playboy type. I embraced the ruthless, dangerous side instead and didn’t let anyone get close. Women were a risk, not least because of the inevitable ‘kiss and tell’ articles. There were a number of fake ones anyway because people want their fifteen minutes, they certainly didn’t enjoy the lawsuit and injunctions my lawyers filed because of their lies.

Belle was always different, infinitely more dangerous but I couldn’t bring myself to fire her. I knew her well enough to know she would be discrete, and yes I did consider a short-term affair to get it out my system, and then a generous severance package while she found a new job when it inevitably ended. However, I never could summon up the courage. I didn’t want to lose her, not her smiles when I did something right, not her scolding when I worked half the night; she fit into my life and made it so much better.

I suppose I had a rather large case of denial. It wasn’t until I was taken prisoner that I admitted to myself that I’d somehow fallen in love with her. I never believed for one second that she could possibly return my affections. I resolved that if I lived, if I managed to escape, that I would never tell her. If I did then I would lose her from my life completely. I would rather have kept Belle as a friend, than not had her at all.

Fortunately for us both, there was that incident at my factory. High on adrenaline, and the rush of survival, I kissed her (although Belle maintains she kissed me) and I admitted my feelings. I tried to apologize, I wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened, but Belle wouldn’t let me. She said for a genius, I was an utter idiot. We’ve been together ever since.

TMI Tuesday: In your Arms!Belle and Gold – do you often return to the blanket fort, seen of so many wonderful things? I see it as a nice little safe space for you.

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Gold: *mumbles something indistinct*

Belle: It’s definitely our place. It’s comfy, and cozy, there is something particularly safe and reassuring about it. We haven’t used it again since our first night together. I don’t want it to lose it’s effect if we use it too often.

(Gold’s eyes dart nervously over to Belle. He’s sweating and turned pale.)

Belle: *whispers* I suspect we’ll be using it again soon. We don’t need to rush into anything but I think we’d both be more secure with a general roadmap about where we’re heading.

Gold: *coughs* Neal is having a sleepover at the Nolan’s next weekend.

Belle: Then it’s a date!

Random but the Strip Club prompt this month for AMR is one I submitted months ago. I saw a gifset (which I now can’t find!) of Belle looking through the boarded up windows of the library, and seeing … well Gaz I guess, but it was supposed to be Gold I think, stripping. That inspired the prompt and now I’m thinking about it and I got nothing.

Well, no that’s not true I have ideas but I don’t feel any particular pull to write them. It’s more like I want someone else to write them because I would like to read them. So I don’t entirely know what I’m going to do with that. I did have an idea for the Movie Night prompt but I’m second-guessing it. I was going to set it in The War Within verse (alternate season six) but that’s kinda very AU now so probably better not.

I guess I need to keep thinking if I’m going to write anything for May.