Blog Circle: Inspiration

It’s February and there’s another WriYe blog circle topic.

What inspires you?
The question ‘what if?’ more than anything to be honest. I mean we don’t like in a vacuum right? So it’s not that controversial to say we’re influenced by everything we interact with. However, it’s probably a bit controversial to say that I follow the maxim of “stealing ideas without actually stealing them”. You see I get inspired when I love something and in general terms I take what I love and make it my own.

For instance I’ll watch something and they’ll be one aspect which makes me go “hello!” and this can be anything but for the ease of this example I’ll go with a relationship. Anyone remember Alias? Jack Bristow and Irina Derevko intrigued me and I knew I wanted to do something with that. In broad strokes they are spies for opposing agencies, Irina seduced Jack to spy on him long term and then committed the cardinal sin of falling in love with her mark (or so I saw it) – it was a tragic love story.

Now I messed around with this and I think I wrote 4 or 5 drafts of a story I called Perfidy. I altered a lot of details, introduced a ton more characters, obviously the main plot was my own. First draft was two years after the betrayal I think, and they had to work together to stop a nuclear bomb? and had to face their feelings because dammit even after everything they still loved one another. One of the later drafts was twenty years later, they had reunited long before and left the spy business, but they got pulled back in by this billionaire who wanted revenge for his brothers death.

As you can probably tell this example didn’t actually succeed in a draft I was ever happy with. However, a few years back I wrote a short story using the same concept. It was set in space, on a sci-fi world where there were two warring factions. I like that angle a lot better to be honest because it avoids messy Earth politics. Then I decided that would work well if I meshed it with some nebulous thoughts of a series I was developing at the time. So two warring factions on a planet, have now become two warring worlds, and there’s also a third enemy and then people from Earth show up (there’s a lot going on).

So I guess what I’m trying to say is I don’t think there’s any harm in wanting to play with what is effectively a trope. Rival spies who fall in love and there’s betrayal and stuff is hardly an Alias exclusive. Jack and Irina inspired me but stripping it back to basics means I made it my own, and maybe one day Galaxy of Fire will be a thing.

How do you hold onto that inspiration through less-than-inspiring times?
I try and remember what made me love the idea in the first place, what the spark was that made me go “hmm yes it’s going to be you” and pushed me to develop the story.

Honestly though this is a hard question because holding onto inspiration isn’t easy. Sometimes I feel an outpouring of love but quite often I want to burn my drafts in fire. Writing is hard. Inspiration is fleeting, I try and focus on discipline. That often fails too but “butt in chair” is a phrase for a reason you know?

Is inspiration different than motivation for you?

Continuing from the last question because it sort of blends together. Yeah inspiration and motivation are different for me. As I said inspiration is often fleeting, and hard to pin down. It’s the bubble of “ooooh” I get when the story idea first strikes, or when I have a breakthrough when planning and details start to fall into place. The whole story then sort of spreads out in front of me and I bask in all the glorious potential.

Once I start writing inspiration often vanishes. Like I said I try and remember why I was keen on the story in the first place, but really the actual writing is all about perseverance. Motivation is always there because I do want to finish stuff, I really really do. Sometimes I think it seems like I’m not motivated because I don’t do things but that really isn’t true. I’m not doing things because of my mental health, not because I lack the desire to do them. I always want to write and complete my projects, it’s just reality isn’t that easy.

Drawing 1: At the Club

Alright! Already doing better than last year because I did in fact do a drawing in January and this is it. It’s an illustration of James Watson and John Druitt from Sanctuary, at a dance club, which pairs with my fanfic James Watson and the Curious Case of the Jarnul.

I tried to add some lighting effects to simulate strobe lighting for the club, not too sure how successful that was. I did better with likeness here because I cheated and managed to find some references of the heads in those positions. That isn’t always possible which is why likeness is a bit hit and miss and I really need to work on it. I don’t want to be so reliant on exact references, as I want to be able to do whatever pose I like.

Speaking of pose this was a tricky one. I wanted it to look like they were kinda dancing together (as I’d described in my fic) but google would not kick back two men in this kind of pose. I’m not at all confident I got the proportions right and John’s hands look a little weird. I made a reference for those myself from a selfie but as I’m only one person, I couldn’t obviously do the actual pose so it was a guess as to how the hands would be.

I think I did the skin blending slightly better than the last drawing but ehhh I’m not sure. Their noses certainly don’t look very good and I have epic failed on facial expression again. This is a much simpler drawing as there’s no background. I think there is still a narrative to it which gives it a bit of energy but expressions would have made it better. I really need to work on those.

February’s project is going to be Bering and Wells and I have a deadline of the 14th for that (the Bering and Wells exchange) so I really need to crack on.

Finally watched the end of Agents of Shield.

That was a wild ride huh?

Excuse me while I laugh at the thought of Deke being Director of Shield in an alternate timeline. He cares, oh I know he cares, but director? He’s a bit of a clown. Still he has grown up a lot and it looks like Shield will be a baby agency to begin with, as all the old pros were likely taken out. It’ll take time to rebuild and in that time he can learn I guess. And hey if it doesn’t work out he can always be a rockstar or a tech giant.

I’m kinda sad May and Coulson aren’t together. I get that he died and is a robot now but it’s him inside, like all his memories and everything that made him him. I’m going to headcanon that May inviting him to the academy was her saying “I’m ready now”. I love that May is the new academy director. Nobody is better suited to inspire and shape young minds, she is just awesome.

Daisy and Sousa having space adventures is pretty cool. Daisy is suited to that, I mean she had loads when searching for Fitz and Sousa is the kind of guy that just rolls with everything. Peggy Carter was a good warm-up for that haha.

That hologram tech is just wow. I’m guessing the chronocoms left some toys behind? Especially for Daisy to be able to call in from space.

I thought I would be more bummed by Fitz’s limited screen time but honestly I’m not. It was the most respectful “writing out” I think I have ever seen. He wasn’t there in person but he was very much there in spirit. He was never forgotten, frequently mentioned and his absence made sense. Other shows would have just dropped him, ignored it and hoped nobody noticed. I’ve seen that happen. No explanation as to why they weren’t around.

Fitz and Simmons getting their Perthshire home, their family and the quiet life after saving the world so many times is perfect for them. In a world where Shield never fell I’m sure they would have stayed agents. However, in this world where it was lurching from one extreme situation to another, they needed off the ride. It looks like things have calmed now, back to just business as usual for shield, but the last few years would exhaust anyone. Plus I’m sure they keep their hand in. They are both brilliant inventors after all and they need to do something for a paycheck. I bet May gets them to guest lecture once a year or something too.

As show finales go I think this scores maybe 9/10. It was very well done. There was good closure, we see hints of how life will go on for them now we’re no longer watching. That magic 10 is just lost because I am sad they are no longer together. Stargate SG-1 show finale sucked for a lot of reasons but the end shot of them marching through the gate, of telling us they would continue to have adventures, that is what I remember from the finale. That image is a positive one and Agents of Shield is a bit more bittersweet given the team has split up. They were more than a team, they were a family, and once a year holo-calls isn’t the same. Daisy is still sad about it and so am I.

Anyway I’m really going to miss this show. It didn’t get weaker over time (as so many shows do) instead it got stronger. The continuity was ace, the writing was tight, the characters always acted in character. Even if I didn’t like what they did, I could always understand why. I know that this should be the basics of what to expect from a TV show but as Once Upon a Time showed us… (sorry I’m not ragging on it, Once has a special place in my heart but that show was a mess).

Every year I used to be scared AoS was going to get cancelled and it made seven seasons. I would have liked more especially as the last 2 were just half seasons. However, I am content with what we had. It was satisfying. I’ve already rewatched the earlier seasons a couple of times, I know I will watch the whole thing many times.

Bittersweet end indeed. I already miss it fiercely :/

Hmm it appears I forgot to ramble yesterday haha.

Ok well I did write yesterday and I also wrote today. I have now gone through, checking and fixing all existing scenes (and inserting new as appropriate) so I’m back to just linear continuation from tomorrow.

I need to close out the scene I walked away from (James and Helen talking as they walk along the seafront), and then probably do another 1-2 set a week or so later, before their return to London.

The new tentative deadline I’ve set is the end of next month. Ideally I’d like it finished before then obviously but I really don’t want it to take any longer. I have other projects I want to work on too!

Words Written: 1,402
Current Total: 19,070

Watching Miss Fisher.

Hugh: Miss Fisher’s gone on holiday again.

Jack: Anybody dead yet?

Hugh: Just the one sir.

*dies of laughter*

I believe that’s what they call ‘hanging a lampshade on it’. Honestly she’s as bad as Jessica Fletcher 😂

I fixed James’ scene today. I could have gone on and done John’s but I decided to spend the extra time on January’s drawing AND

GOOD NEWS

I have finished it!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

The summary for the fic was hard to write, I’m not confessing how long I just fiddled with it going “ahhh I don’t know!” a lot. Anyway, it’s now all ready to post next Tuesday so yay! That is a big task off my to do list.

So tomorrow I need to fix John’s scene and then I need to work on Helen’s. After that I think I just need to double check flow but I was pretty happy overall with the bulk of the wedding night scene. However, I’m not all that pleased with the scene starting the following day, so that will likely need adjusting. After that though I’ll be done with the fixing and just writing new stuff.

Progress!

Words Written: 740
Current Total: 16,905 (still shifting)

So the blipped people blipped back to where they were when they dusted? I suppose we sort of knew that from when the people arrived for the final battle in Endgame but I’d not thought about it before.

Marvel really didn’t think that one through.

What about all the people in planes? They are just going to fall out of the sky. People in cars? Congratulations you are now sitting in the middle of the road. Makes me wonder how Nick Fury and Maria Hill avoided injury as they were in the middle of the road. People in the middle of surgery. Are they now on top of whomever is currently having surgery? Somebody was having a shower and their family moved after the blip, you are now naked in somebody else’s house.

I’m sorry it’s just the implications are staggering. It’s crazy.

Monica is definitely my new fave, I love her. The stuff with Maria though is making me even more sad than I was this morning! Maria founded SWORD which was all about monitoring space, and space travel – yeah I wonder who she was looking for/hoping to meet up with.

If I wanted to make myself cry even more I’d picture Carol looking Maria up after Infinity War. Battling cancer, lost her daughter, dead in two years, like holy shit no. Do not want. To be honest in that light no bloody wonder Carol went back out into space and didn’t return until Endgame. She had nothing left on Earth.

I was a bit confused as to how Darcy was an astrophysicist when she was a political science major. But then it hit me that was years ago, and interning with Jane Foster could have changed her path. So bachelors in poly-sci and then masters/Phd in astrophysics. I mean Elle Woods did some kind of fashion degree to get into law school so it seems possible (I don’t really know the US college system that well).

I love Darcy’s snark, glad she hasn’t lost that.

I was wondering why New Jersey for Wanda to make her place, as Vision died in Wakanda, but where was the Avenger’s compound/final battle? Upstate New York right? So straight after Endgame, she flies off with Vision and loses herself in her powers. Although that doesn’t quite mesh as Wanda was at Tony’s service. So either she held on until after that, or that scene takes place post-WandaVision when she’s been forced to finally let Vision go.

She’s grieving, desperately trying to hold on to what she’s lost 🙁 first her brother, then Vision. The only other person we see her close to is Clint and he just got his family back, and I’m sure she was thrilled for him, but it leaves her alone with no hope for her own reunion. I feel really bad for her. This is actually a very sad show looking at it like that. Poor Wanda 🙁

I haven’t seen the latest WandaVision yet but I haven’t blacklisted the spoilers tag. I just saw a very pretty gifset of Maria Rambeau and I was going to hit insta-reblog and then I got to the last gif…

FUCK OFF

No, no, nope, no, not happening.

image

I’m sorry I do not accept that.

I mean sure that ship is doomed with Carol not aging but c’mon, did they have to put the boot in? Couldn’t I dream like a teeny tiny little bit that they found a way somehow for Maria to age concurrently with Carol? Don’t know how but I just want them to be happy together dammit!

I’m sad now.

Way to break my heart on a Friday morning.

#I know I should actually watch for context and I will tonight#but damn poor Maria 🙁 and Monica still looks so young so it’s tragic all round

I want to make Sanctuary gifsets it feels like forever since I made one and I have so many ideas!

So…
step 1: finish January’s drawing
step 2: finish gifset for the Bering & Wells exchange
step 3: do February’s drawing for the Bering & Wells exchange (because I like to make life complicated clearly)
step 4: ficlet/composition for the exchange aka put it all together and post/queue

No seriously that is the priority list :/ which means it could be another fortnight before I am clear to make Sanctuary gifsets.

Don’t get me wrong I love Bering & Wells. Every time I think about them I remember how much I love them, and wonder why I don’t do more stuff with them because they are awesome. So I’m not begrudging the exchange. Gimme all the Bering & Wells stuff. It’s just Sanctuary is all in my head right now, can we say total obsession?

Also I know I’ve said this before but it cracks me up every time – 150+ year old Victorians really make for the best ships bwahaha.

Ok so not too much fixing today. I just wrote the new Helen scene to try and illustrate more her desperation. However, I think this means I might need another scene later? I’m not sure, I’ll need to check.

There’s a six week gap at the moment and I can’t decide whether that’s ok or not. I’m leaning towards yes precisely because that means when I get the scene, it’s at six weeks of boiling point and should therefore be more intense. Anyway next is fixing the John and James scenes as I didn’t get to that today.

I do still have about 80 minutes before I need to think about dinner (and it’s Thursday so my evening is booked), but I need to work on January’s drawing. It’s an illustration of John and James from my fic James Watson and the Curious Case of the Jarnul. I have been delaying posting until I could post it with the drawing. My plan is to drop both next Tuesday, as the final chapter of Our Darkest Hour will go up tomorrow.

I had hoped that I would seamlessly be able to pick up and start posting Choosing Fate next Friday but that’s not going to happen :/ so fic updates will cease for a bit after Tuesday until I finish this story.

Words Written: 1,942
Current Total: 16,374 (still shifting)