So this month has sucked for writing …

but today was pretty epic 🙂

I didn’t work on Choosing Fate. I know I should have but my brain was giving me some pushback on it, and I figured after only writing one day in the last fortnight – 1 day! – that I should take the easy road. Get words, remember that writing feels good, and hopefully then face less resistance on the harder project tomorrow. That’s the theory anyway.

So the easier project is my untitled oneshot with the working title of “AU of an AU from Into the Black”. Yeah I know that title haha. Basically I have an idea for a canon-compliant AU “colouring in between the lines” for season four. However, I want to branch off from that and take a lot of the backstory in that AU, and do a pure canon-divergence AU to replace Uprising (4×02). Hence the whole “AU of an AU” thing because that’s what it is.

Anyway, I don’t know what got into me, whether it was the quests on 4thewords, the easier project, the fact that I feel ok physically for the first time in a fortnight – who knows! – anyway the words just happened. I’m fairly buzzing about it. Sure I’ve written more in the past but after two straight weeks of zero, I’m pretty psyched.

Tomorrow I’ll try and go back to Choosing Fate.

Words Written: 3,552
Current Total: 4,652 (for this AU of an AU)

Has my mental health gone into the shitter because I’m not writing?

Or am I not writing because my mental health has turned crap?

Either way what the hell is up with this month? 🙁 🙁 🙁

urban-trek-thru-middle-earth said:  It’s a vicious circle, I find. You get stressed cus you can’t write, then you can’t write cus you’re stressed, then you feel guilty cus you’re not writing. Wash, rinse, repeat…

galactic-pirates said:  @urban-trek-thru-middle-earth oh lord ain’t that the truth lol, honestly /rolls eyes at self 

littlejoregal said:  It will get better! ❤ 

Today was WriDay which means I push myself on word count. The smallest goal is 2.5k and that’s what I aimed for.

Ahem we are now entering the stage of mutually pining idiots bwahaha. Honestly, I did Helen who was thinking to herself “why hasn’t James kissed me yet?” and going to James who was thinking “I’d like to kiss her but her body language says no and I don’t want to pressure her.” and this is only going to get worse I’m afraid. They are going to slide into loving one another, and yet being utterly convinced the other has no interest.

I wish I could say John was going to do better but nope he’s going to be even worse. I’m still feeling out this middle part and deciding when to introduce Nigel and Nikola. Originally I put in my tentative plan that they didn’t start working with the source blood until the epilogue but I’m starting to rethink that. I’ll have to see how it develops.

Anyway the story is moving forward. The honeymoon is now over and they have just got back to James’ home. John was waiting practically by the door and is a bundle of nerves bless him, as he’s a bit scared that James is going to abandon him now he has a wife. A little TLC needed I think 🙂

Words Written: 2,629
Current Total: 22,384

littlejoregal said:  I envy you for being able to post constant updates on your writing! ❤

galactic-pirates said:  @littlejoregal it’s a new thing lol. It’s been years since I was this productive. But thank you 🙂 I hope it continues. 

littlejoregal said:  What is the secret? 😅 I mean the drive? 

galactic-pirates said:  @littlejoregal I like to tell stories. I have them in my head and I like to get them out. That has kept me trying even on really lean years where I’ve written next to nothing. At the moment my new enthusiasm for Sanctuary is helping a lot. It’s heady days with a fresh obsession 🙂 

littlejoregal said:  Oh, that I understand too well! 😅 If there aren’t stories in my head I can’t cope with life as it is. I meant your writing shedule. You just will yourself to sit down or you have something going on like nanowrimo? 

galactic-pirates said:  @littlejoregal oh I see! Yes I am trying to make it a routine. I sit down and open the document everyday and endeavour to write at least a sentence. I did try and mandate a set amount each day like NaNo but I haven’t been able to manage that. I struggle with anxiety and writing can set off panic attacks. I managed words half of the days in January which was a big win for me as I think I maybe managed 15 days in total January-November last year 😛 

littlejoregal said:  I see 😊 I’m happy that this is working out for you! I’ll work something out. 😅 

Hmm it appears I forgot to ramble yesterday haha.

Ok well I did write yesterday and I also wrote today. I have now gone through, checking and fixing all existing scenes (and inserting new as appropriate) so I’m back to just linear continuation from tomorrow.

I need to close out the scene I walked away from (James and Helen talking as they walk along the seafront), and then probably do another 1-2 set a week or so later, before their return to London.

The new tentative deadline I’ve set is the end of next month. Ideally I’d like it finished before then obviously but I really don’t want it to take any longer. I have other projects I want to work on too!

Words Written: 1,402
Current Total: 19,070

I fixed James’ scene today. I could have gone on and done John’s but I decided to spend the extra time on January’s drawing AND

GOOD NEWS

I have finished it!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

The summary for the fic was hard to write, I’m not confessing how long I just fiddled with it going “ahhh I don’t know!” a lot. Anyway, it’s now all ready to post next Tuesday so yay! That is a big task off my to do list.

So tomorrow I need to fix John’s scene and then I need to work on Helen’s. After that I think I just need to double check flow but I was pretty happy overall with the bulk of the wedding night scene. However, I’m not all that pleased with the scene starting the following day, so that will likely need adjusting. After that though I’ll be done with the fixing and just writing new stuff.

Progress!

Words Written: 740
Current Total: 16,905 (still shifting)

Ok so not too much fixing today. I just wrote the new Helen scene to try and illustrate more her desperation. However, I think this means I might need another scene later? I’m not sure, I’ll need to check.

There’s a six week gap at the moment and I can’t decide whether that’s ok or not. I’m leaning towards yes precisely because that means when I get the scene, it’s at six weeks of boiling point and should therefore be more intense. Anyway next is fixing the John and James scenes as I didn’t get to that today.

I do still have about 80 minutes before I need to think about dinner (and it’s Thursday so my evening is booked), but I need to work on January’s drawing. It’s an illustration of John and James from my fic James Watson and the Curious Case of the Jarnul. I have been delaying posting until I could post it with the drawing. My plan is to drop both next Tuesday, as the final chapter of Our Darkest Hour will go up tomorrow.

I had hoped that I would seamlessly be able to pick up and start posting Choosing Fate next Friday but that’s not going to happen :/ so fic updates will cease for a bit after Tuesday until I finish this story.

Words Written: 1,942
Current Total: 16,374 (still shifting)

Today I finished the new scene with James and John. I slipped it in before James meets Helen for the first time.

Tomorrow I need to check the James and Helen meet scene to make sure it works. Then I have the James scene directly after to fix, the John and James scene after that to rewrite/fix (change in POV) and I still haven’t added the new Helen scene from earlier either. That’s probably all I’ll manage tomorrow (at maximum) but I do have more scenes to check over/fix after that as well.

It’s Full Moon Madness tomorrow so hopefully as it’s a challenge day I should get a boost in my wordcount. Anyway, progress is happening again (thank merlin) and hopefully I’ll have the story all fixed in the next couple of days and I can crack on with writing it again.

Words Written: 615
Current Total: 14,439 (still shifting)

Positive progress!

I did what I said I was going to do and started from the beginning, going through and marking where it wasn’t right and fixing it. I’ve moved paragraphs about, I’m adding at least 2 new scenes (I’ve marked where they are going). Helen’s reaction has completely changed (less denial, more internal screaming).

And it’s helping it flow. I’m finding it easier to write now. I’m still nowhere near done with the fixing but already I feel better about it. Why didn’t I do this a couple of weeks ago? Honestly I actually said this about Our Darkest Hour, that I was re-reading the prior scene before beginning and tweaking things and that maybe I shouldn’t, but it helped get me into it – well if it helps then roll with it stupid!

Anyway, I’m now actually feeling a bit more like this story might happen. It won’t be done when I wanted but I’m slightly more hopeful that it will be done at some point. So yay! 🙂

Words Written: 1,135
Current Total: 13,830 (this will still shift as I alter more things)

Ok words were a struggle and all over the place today.

This fic is giving me fits. Part of me thinks I should just start over from the beginning. I’m not getting the vibe I want from it. Revision usually comes after the first draft (need to see the whole picture, to know how to fix it accurately) but there’s also something to be said for crooked foundations building bad houses.

If I know it’s not right and I’m still near the beginning, isn’t it better to stop and fix it now? I’m just frustrated because I had wanted to finish this month and I don’t feel that far forward. I was hoping basically for a repeat of how awesome November was and yeah not happened.

Part of the problem I think is I keep running into stuff I don’t know, researching as I go and then it feels all disjointed. Like it doesn’t flow because I’m dripping information into the wrong scene. Also the pacing is off.

I started and scrapped three scenes today. It’s been that kind of day. Annoying.

Still I guess if I can’t move forward, then my only choice is to go back over it and try and fix it. I’ll attempt that tomorrow.

Words Written: 576
Current Total: who knows at this point

You know I said I was going to do daily writing status posts again.

And I haven’t.

I also haven’t been writing very much.

Is there a causal link? I don’t know. The lack of writing means I’m not making the post, but if I knew I had to make the post would I then write? This feels like a “if a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it, does it still make a sound?” type question.

Anyway I am still working on Choosing Fate. It’s a hot mess right now. I know I said that about Our Darkest Hour but this is way worse. I’m a bit annoyed with it to be honest because writing fanfic is supposed to be my ‘easy’ project and this is being frustratingly difficult. I’ve had soooooo many days where I’ve only written a sentence or two (as I’m trying to avoid zero days). The only reason I wrote a chunk today is because it’s challenge day on WriYe and I make special effort for those.

So today in Choosing Fate Helen and James strolled along the seafront, trying to get to know one another better. I wasted a fair bit of time researching Victorian seafront holidays haha. It’s 1875, I keep catching myself going “wait, did they have that back then” and having to go check.

Tomorrow probably more of the same but maybe we’ll skip along a day or three. They are there two weeks after all and it would get boring if I tried to show too much of that. They need to get back to London – Helen needs to meet John.

Words Written: 1,951
Current Total: 12,617