Well the mission was over within a week. We shipped out and debriefed, there were no imminent disaster so we then got some time off for a change! A little bit of downtime before we had to start prepping for the next assignment. We went out for mid-morning coffee, which bled into lunch, which turned into spending the afternoon together strolling around the park and just remembering how good the world can be.
We then had dinner and Alistair walked me home. I kissed him and he went to leave, saying he should get home to bed. I said we definitely should get to bed and kissed him again. His expression was wonderful, it was clear he had no expectations of anything and I liked that, I don’t know why but I guess I felt respected, like he wasn’t pushing for more than I was ready to give. I know I was ready to sleep with him anyway but I still appreciated it.
The sweet man started to stammer that he didn’t expect anything and I kissed him again. No regrets, that’s how I live my life. We never know what will be our final mission and I deeply care for Alistair. It’s not love yet, it can’t be because we don’t know each other well enough, but we won’t know one another if we don’t take a chance. He kissed me then, so gently and lovingly, it was perfect.
What happened next is private but it was … incredible.