Ok buckle up it’s story time. I’ve been musing on the whole Jack Crusher thing on Picard and I have joked (as I have seen others do as well) being a fanfic OC, coming in and making everything be about him. Not to put shade on fanfic OC’s at all but what is fun in fanfic hits a little different on screen in canon. But anyway I am getting off topic and possibly digging myself a hole I don’t mean. So moving on!

It made me remember Warehouse 13 because for reason beyond all understanding they suddenly gave Artie a son in the show finale. A son that he hadn’t known about, and I can’t quite recall how old the son was when he learned. The implication seemed to be that they had one adventure snagging an artifact and there had been pretty much no contact before or since which I guess explained why this phantom son had never been mentioned before??? Except not really because damn Artie makes you look seriously bad. I suppose it was “oh the warehouse is dangerous” but ugh anyway I was more annoyed that this plot thread had just been dropped in the finale! Like why? Can’t do anything with that. It was so weird to come up with something so huge and then show ended, nothing to see here.

So obviously my fanfic writer brain started chewing on this and wondering how to make it interesting. So yeah true fanfic OC time because why the hell not? It is undeniably fun. Also I never wrote this so it exists only in my brain for my own amusement, and now potentially yours by summary if I ever get to the point.

For the plot of the phantom son to not unfairly take attention from the main characters, it would be ideal to introduce him earlier like perhaps forshadow and then actual appear towards the end of season 1. Which would make him a legitimate character that can have plot.

Now I think the story on Warehouse 13 was Artie had a girlfriend when at the NSA and she was pregnant and didn’t know/hadn’t told him, and then he was arrested/recruited to the Warehouse and left behind everything of his old life as a quasi-witness protection type deal. The son was completely normal, had a family of his own, and I guess actually you know that’s nice that somebody had normal relatives not bothered by Warehouse drama. Certainly everybody else got dragged in like Myka’s parents. Pete’s ex-wife etc. So I guess the actual story isn’t bad it just doesn’t go anywhere because apart from Artie being sad he can’t see them because he has to stay away for their protection (which I kinda hate because surely precautions, effort could be made etc.)

Anyway I figured if we were going to make it plot then make it fun. Bring in another plot line of the Warehouse they never really explored and I was always fascinated by – the competition I am sure they had but never admitted to.

What if Artie got the girlfriend AFTER joining the Warehouse? Someone else with Russian roots, who could relate about the fear for his relatives in Russia. I mean Artie did what he did to save them and then when it all went bad he must have been scared it would have undone it all. Plus that had been a weakness in the past, so why not go for the weak spot that works? Obviously the Warehouse would have flagged it but the key to a good lie is that a lot is the truth. If she was open about her Russian roots why would there be any suspicion? A Russian spy would surely want to be as non-Russian as possible right? Because let’s face it height of the Cold War even if the Warehouse did manage to be neutral it is still in the USA, and so Russia wanting to infiltrate it just makes sense. Also critical point (for my own enjoyment) is I very much liked the whole Irina plot in Alias. Only Irina was a good guy (kinda) and this spy girlfriend is definitely not.

Obviously cover was blown, the Warehouse learned the truth, and the spy left and then discovered she was pregnant. So when did Artie learn about the kid? I am thinking initially when the kid was a few years old. Old enough to be thought loyal to Russia but young enough to tug on heartstrings. Another way to infiltrate the Warehouse. Only it doesn’t work. The Regents offer to get the kid but Artie declines. The boy doesn’t know him. It would be wrong to strip him from the only family he has ever known. Plus Artie does do the helpless head in the sand thing. I can hear him splutter “what would I do with a kid? How could I raise him alone? The work has to come first.” I mean even after 20 years Artie still feels he needs to make amends for the artifacts to Russia so just a few years later? Plus having had the second brush with nearly letting someone into the warehouse. So much of his self-worth is tied up in being a good agent and making it right.

Now obviously the fun part comes when the kid grows up. I am thinking the first time he and Artie actually meet they are going after the same artifact. Yup the kid grew up to be a retrieval specialist. Now who else do we know who is in the black market artifact trade? Who would have been highly interested in Artie’s son? Oh yes I am quite sure that James MacPherson would have been delighted to contract Karl (yeah I named him) to be his right hand.

Am I done? No I am not done because math is hard and I am not entirely sure. Plus the years are hard to work out for when the Phoenix incident happened. But I think it might pretty much work for either Artie to fall into this femme fatale trap when MacPherson married Carol, or when MacPherson used the Phoenix to save her AND (fun stuff) for Karl to then be about the same age as Claudia… Claudia who hunted for everything she could find on the Warehouse and how she could break into it. I would say a retrieval specialist with a bit of a grudge against the Warehouse would have been a solid source. One that Claudia cut ties with when she chose to join the Warehouse lest the regents think she was a traitor.

When Leena framed Claudia as a traitor that would have added an extra dimension. Plus I am just imagining the drama if Karl told Claudia his bio dad was an agent but never said his name, and then the reveal of “Artie?!?!” 

I know I know this is getting a bit of a soap opera but that’s part of the fun of a fanfic OC. Bring in all the drama. Make it ridiculous with Russian spies because why not? It’s fun. Plus I don’t know if you can tell with what I have said but I am trying to think about this mostly in relation to what meaty conflict it gives Artie and Claudia to chew on. That is even in fanfic what interests people – the real characters. I can try and make the fanfic OC compelling but at the end of the day they aren’t the point. I can write it for me and do what I find amusing but that’s why the OC exists at all.

Anyway I like dimensions and layers and I can’t quite decide how this would affect the season 1 finale. No matter what HG Wells needs to be unbronzed. But then? If MacPherson had another option would he have accompanied HG back to the Warehouse to break into the Escher Vault or would he have sent Karl instead? When Claudia left the Warehouse upset that everyone thought she was a traitor Joshua was half a world away, what if Karl was closer? They broke up but he knows about the Warehouse and would understand.

Now the thing with villains is if they stay at large it makes the heroes look incompetent. So it wouldn’t be good for Karl to be allowed to be a rival retrieval specialist competing for artifacts forever. But equally having him in that dubious gray area of kinda enemy, kinda friend. Sometimes working against them, sometimes giving them information/help. That feels interesting.

Of course with this kind of AU the ripple effects start and get bigger and bigger, and then it’s hard to think about what happens and the consequences.

I think it’s pretty known that I ship Artie and MacPherson. The parallels to HG and Myka, plus the echoes of James and John from Sanctuary just planted the idea in my head and it wouldn’t leave. The whole element of “Uncle James was more a father to me than anyone which I guess makes sense, as if things had been different he would have been my co-dad” the tug of war of the two different paths, whether the Warehouse is morally right or wrong, the corruption – which side? Etc. I mean there is a difference between principles and practice sometimes. Like the Warehouse has the bronzer and other very bad things. It’s not totally black and white even if on the surface it sometimes seems that way because the agents of the Warehouse whom we love and cheer for have the best intentions.

Anyway I think I have rambled long enough to cover most of what is swirling in my brain. I have almost certainly forgotten something but ehhh no matter. After all this is just for fun 😉

#in which I am undeniably back on my bullshit#will this make sense to anyone but me? probably not but it is fun anyway#don’t mind me just chilling with the brain idea gremlins this sucky Wednesday