PLL!Neal – Do you really think your dad can’t change?


*sighs heavily* I don’t know. Is it possible for a person to fundamentally change, especially at his age? I mean he’s halfway through his life, his behavior is pretty entrenched. Look I’m not saying my dad is a bad person, or that he has bad intentions. It just all gets screwed up.

I know him better than anyone else. I think he probably wants things to be different, for things to be better, but then he’s been wanting that for years. I kinda blackmailed him to go on this sabbatical as I figured maybe a big external change would force things, and give him the opportunity to make different choices. If he can’t work for three months, then he has to fill the void somehow right? Then maybe he’ll learn that there’s more to life than work. Maybe he’ll learn to make time for us, rather than just writing cheques.

You can probably tell I’ve discussed this with Emma a lot right? Emma reckons dad won’t change until he’s ready, and I guess I agree with that. What kinda hurts though, is that I needed him to change a long time ago and he never did. You know what is really screwed up? Part of me doesn’t even want him to change now, because it means that I wasn’t worth changing for when I was a kid. I haven’t even told Emma that, but she probably knows. She knows all the crazy stuff in my head before I do half the time.