Earlier @woodelf68 replied to my post season five character headcanon post and said:
“The
image of Hook being left to watch any kids is hilarious. Just imagine them
running him ragged and he is JUST SO OUT OF HIS DEPTH. File that under scenes I
didn’t realise I wanted to see, lol.”and it inspired me. I took it as a prompt and wrote a little oneshot. It just wouldn’t leave me alone. This is set in the same verse as “He’s Behind You” which I posted the other day but about 18 months prior to that.
This isn’t actually really anti-Hook, just anti-Hook being competent looking after kids. I hope it makes somebody smile.
GUISE GUISE GUISE. READ THIS! READ THIS NOW.
That was more destruction than I even imagined. *Looks at fic in awe* I even feel sorry for Hook, he really was trying his best.
@grace52373 @robertmarch82 thanks for the comments guys! Perhaps Emma has lost the upper IQ necessary for independent thought around Hook. It certainly seems that way sometimes.
@woodelf68 your enthusiasm is making me smile, thanks so much!
Yeah I felt a bit sorry for Hook. He was just inept not uncaring. I just couldn’t write him as uncaring because they are kids. I couldn’t let Emma leave them with him, if he would have been mean. She left them with him because she knew he wouldn’t hurt them. Although I’m sure she never imagined how incompetent he would prove to be.
My headcanon around the fic is Snow was still fretting about leaving them, so David allowed her to call Emma to check in, with the agreement that if everything was ok then they would continue with their evening. However, when they got Emma she was at the sheriff’s station “oh I left them with Hook, I’m sure they are fine.” and then Snow hangs up and looks at David “we are going home right now.” and David says “I’m sure they will be fine, Hook wouldn’t harm them.” and Snow says “that’s not the point.” or words to that effect.
Snow was barely comfortable leaving them with Emma and is basically looking for any excuse to go home. Then she gets there and the place is a disaster zone. David is going to be doing all the cleanup and sleeping on the couch for a week for suggesting it. Emma I think would be horrified in front of Snow but secretly find it hilarious and tease Hook about it for ages afterwards.
Hook just begs for them to tell no-one but Henry finds out and then everyone finds out and Rumple and Regina go full on sarcastic and snide comments. Belle finds him a book in the library and quietly, without fanfare, gives it to Emma because she is the logical one who thinks of the kids. Hook is bound to wind up looking after them again even though Snow has sworn “never again” and so for the good of the children, he needs some help.
Yeah I should probably stop thinking about this now. I really loved this prompt, it’s just so easy to spin the story around it.
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Spoiler alert. If you want to read Hook being spat on, sicked on and have poo thrown at him – by a baby – then this fic has that.
Anyone got any suggestions for tags? I was going to put this on AO3 and then thought better of it because I have absolutely zero idea how to categorize it. Maybe I will just leave it on tumblr as a prompt drabble. That would probably be safest.