So today didn’t go at all how I wanted. Yesterday I had the thought that I would catch up to par, hopefully get to around 22k. I woke up with a headache which sucked but I intended to soldier on anyway – and then I checked the news. The government apparently has plans to overhaul disability and it scares me. Intellectually I know it’s ridiculous because it’s at least a couple of years out from happening but I got all upset anyway.

Eventually mum calmed me down and about 3pm I tried to write something. I decided to aim for the 20k I didn’t quite manage yesterday, so slipping further behind again :/ still any words were better than no words I guess.

I think 30k on the 17th is unlikely now. I told mum about the rewards idea, and how I had picked a game that was on 80% sale (which ends on the 17th). She told me to get it anyway as I am likely to hit 30k before the end of the month. The only reason there is no flexibility on reward timing is the sale. So I may do that. Having built it up to be such a thing in my mind of “have to have 30k by the 17th” it now feels like cheating. However I suppose if I had picked any other kind of reward that it wouldn’t have mattered when I hit it during the month. I’m not sure I should really do the whole reward thing anyway. It doesn’t seem to be motivating me to really push. I either write or I don’t, reward immaterial, so it’s really just getting myself a gift that to be honest I don’t really deserve.

Words today: 825
Current total: 20,126