I am singularly disappointed with my note taking skills.

Last year when I decided I was going to quit fanfic I downloaded all the files from gDocs onto my HD. I couldn’t bring myself to delete them but I was trying to make them inactive.

Well my nostalgia for my own ideas grew to such a level I opened up the files today. I have vague memories of more related to the ideas than I appear to have written down. I am frustrated because it’s like having something on the tip of your tongue, unable to remember, and I thought my notes would clarify but nope.

I don’t have the spoons to write so I don’t really know what I was doing beyond *sighing heavily* with a big “I wish…” feel.

But seriously past!Self? You really super suck for not writing more of the swirling thoughts down, and not being clear about what you did write down. Some of those notes do not make the sense I think I thought they did after 6+ months of not looking at them.

Ooops I guess?

You see (sorry not done) it’s Camp bloody NaNo starting today and, and, the frustrated “I wish!!!” is kinda ruling me 🙁

I wish, I wish, I wish.

This isn’t the life I want.

I am sad.