I am reasonably certain that at some point on here I said I was trying to move into a place of my own. The process has been ongoing for almost a year now and am certain to have moaned at some point. It has been a rollercoaster, a frustrating nightmare, endless limbo and just generally awful.

Anyway! I won’t rehash the entire journey, I just felt I should say that I got the keys to my house 10 days ago!!!! So exciting, and a huge leap forward, buuuuut

Have I moved in? No. Do I want to? Very much. Why have I not moved in? *cries in renovation*

Before we sold our house in 2014 I painted all but one room. The house needed to be freshened up to market it. That was a 2 bedroom cottage, so not a huge house, but before I hit I think the middle of the process I’d had enough. It’s not the physical exhaustion or the aches and pains, it’s the mental overwhelm. I just wanted to run away and not have to deal with it. Room after room was just too much in one go. When we moved into the current family home some decorating was required. I was prepared to dig deep but mum opted to hire a company so it was done super fast.

I was grateful and quite relieved to not have to do anymore decorating but apparently time dulls memories. I have a 2 bedroom house and I am painting every room – one after the other. I want it to be done and over but I’m not even halfway.

This is more extensive than just decorating as I’m having to coordinate around tradespeople too. We’ve had the electrician in, and the plumber, and new flooring. It doesn’t feel like I’m getting anywhere. I’ve made some progress everywhere (as I had to do certain tasks to prepare key areas for the aforementioned professionals) but nowhere is 100% done. It’s like everywhere I look it’s just mess and chaos. Fortunately unlike last time (when I decorated the cottage) I’m not having to live there. That does help a bit, but I’m currently putting off going to bed despite being utterly exhausted, as I’m just going to have to get up and do it all again tomorrow, and as much as I want to move ASAP, I am finding it increasingly hard to face all the work I have to do in order to get there.

I’m not sleeping anyway. I’m scared. The world situation is terrifying. Now is probably the worst time to strike out on my own and be having to pay all the bills solo. I’d done a budget but then the electrician discovered a problem and my expected bill became 10x bigger. Today I found out my hot water heater isn’t working. It’s just one thing after another.

Anyway that’s the state of play. I’m hoping everything will be done and I can move first week of September. Then I’m hoping my life will start. Probably a foolish dream given the aforementioned terrifying world situation.

Does anyone else just live with the constant feeling of doom? Like what is even the point of all this you know? /sighs