With the recent casting announcement I’m going to post a crack idea that adds season seven details to a crack fanfic idea I had from when I was having a snarky day.

Apparently I’m having a sarcastic day today as well. This doesn’t really reflect my views of the show. I’m just being silly.

Anyway an adult Robyn (Zelena’s daughter) is now in the picture so…

Basically – Wicked Witch 2.0.

She heard about her mother’s past and was proud for all of two seconds until she learned of Zelena’s failure. She decides to succeed and actually “change everything” with time travel wahoo because nothing is more confusing on a show that has frequently flashbacks than then playing around with the timeline.

Only trouble is … presenting the “ooops broke it trope” where she succeeds in traveling back in time but she also kinda fractures the universe. The barriers between realms start to break down, time goes weird with some people aging and some people not but because it was a spell – nobody notices.

It’s like when you travel across the galaxy and fall out of the wormhole and get somewhere weeks earlier than you left – it makes that kind of sense aka not much at all.

Then we present the “amnesia trope” and “you thought it was the bad guy but it was us trope” which is a rehash of ‘Dark Curse 2.0′ aka echoing Zelena’s story even more (because they love that) where the good guys cast the curse to go to Hyperion Heights as that evacuates everyone from the collapsing realm and they add the cursed memories to keep Robyn out of the way while they take care of it.

The only trouble is they have to team up with Lady Tremaine in order to cast the spell (because plot twist) and of course Lady Tremaine has her own plans and so she double crosses them. They weren’t supposed to have cursed memories, just like Regina never did the first time around, but Lady Tremaine swaps their exception for her own.

Wait, wait, I hear you ask – what was that darkness that came for Henry, and then Lucy and Tiger Lily in the forest. Well
1) this show drops plots like that all the time, it was last season does anyone remember that?
2) as a less snarky response and because they like to juggle lots of plots at once, that was ‘the darkness’ coming for Henry.

Also because my sarcasm valve is stuck wide open let’s say that Henry is the guardian but the vault doesn’t want to stay closed. Rumple heard that legend when it was just the dark one but it’s Merlin’s powers as well now and it’s just too much.

So Rumple takes the curse back, which is why he has it and didn’t die in Hyperion Heights. He sacrifices eternity with Belle to be the hero that she would want him to be.

Only this is a show about hope! Happy endings! So blah blah season seven and then they defeat Robyn but there’s only one way to knit the timelines back together *drum roll please*

Once Upon a Time there was a small town in Maine.

*knock knock* “Are you Emma Swan?”

and the bug drives into town.

“Every story in this book actually happened.”
“The End”