I had a thought the other day and I kept it to myself rather than rambling on here because to be honest I wasn’t sure what to make of it.

I want to be good at things, I do, I really do. I want to be a good writer and write a lot of stories (I have so many story ideas). I want to be a good artist and be able to illustrate the scenes I have in my head. I want to be good at other things too, like I want to learn so much and it’s all related to basically getting the images/stories out of my head and into reality. I’d love to learn how to 2D animate, or 3D model – the list goes on.

Anyway leaving aside pipe-dreams I have several clear interests: writing, drawing, Lego, Warcraft, TV/movies etc.

There is so many things that I love. I’m not just obsessed with one show – I’m all in with quite a few. I don’t know how to not love things. Sure there are some things that I’m ‘meh’ about, things that don’t stay with me, but for some people I know in life that is kinda how they feel about most things. They like it, or they don’t, they don’t have favourites, they don’t have obsessions. Honestly I have no idea what they do with their lives but I digress.

Time is finite and spoons are even more finite. Quite often I’ll have the time but I’ll just be so mentally exhausted that staring at the ceiling is all I can manage, I can’t even watch TV, and so the time trickles away without me making good use of it and like I said time is finite.

So my thought! Basically I want to be good at things but I’m not, and I might never be, because I’m too split. If I focused on just one thing then maybe I could get good but because I have too many interests, I’m never going to get where I want.

And like I said, I don’t know what to do with that 🙁