Ok let’s be real writing has been a disaster for me since November 2016. I tried to keep writing after it but within six months I’d ground to a complete halt. I’ve not successfully completed a single story, and definitely not NaNo, ever since.

2017. 2018. 2019.

All gone, didn’t happen, I don’t think I even attempted it last year at all. I had big plans for this year but well it’s 2020 – the year of the unexpected. I’m trying to not be too hard on myself for it.

Anyway, I’ve been going back and forth over what to do. NaNo used to be the highlight of my year, it used to be magical and I miss that feeling. I had some time to think this morning and I came to some conclusions:
1) not doing NaNo isn’t an option. I need to try. It matters to me.
2) whatever I write has to reach the 50k or I’ll feel like it doesn’t count.
3) I love my ideas I really do but I’m too scared to attempt them and if I try I won’t get very far.
4) I remember Her Happy Ending (yes it is story time).

Back in 2015 I was in a bit of a slump. Nowhere near as bad as this, I’d been writing for most of the year but I’d hit a wall. I was on Book Two of a series and it was going badly. I’d written a complete first draft but it was terrible so I attempted a complete rewrite and that went nowhere. I realised that it was simply a series/project that I couldn’t save, or perhaps just wasn’t willing to save I don’t know. I needed a new spark, I needed to be enthusiastic about something again and so randomly one day in mid-September I started typing the most self-indulgent fanfic. I created an OC to be a major character (it was that self-indulgent). It was just shy of 12k when I stopped writing it, utterly unfinished but then it was always destined for my HD never to be posted – it served it’s purpose. That November I wrote Book One of a brand new series which invigorated me. Admittedly around September the following year I stalled out writing Book Three but hey it’s still progress of sorts.

Basically I’m at the point where I’m shrugging and going “well this might just as well happen” because I have nothing left to lose. I’ve written nothing all year. I don’t see any forward momentum happening on my projects because I’m too scared, they are too serious, too important to me. So in a choice between writing nothing next month or writing a self-indulgent fanfic? Arguably I’m no further forward on my projects either way BUT if I get back into writing, if I remember how to write and push through that “this is terrible” feeling, then I could maybe go back to my OG ideas afterwards. Like I said nothing left to lose.

So what am I going to write? Well, have you heard of the show Sanctuary? It’s my current obsession. It makes me happy and so why not try and embrace that? I’m also tempted to make it a slight Stargate crossover because that’s my original obsession and if I’m going self-indulgent why not go all-in? What I’m considering is an AU branching from the season 1 finale Revelations. Three of The Five are at the sanctuary (Helen, Druitt and Watson), Nigel is long dead but his gift passed on and of course they are missing Tesla. They need all five of their gifts to retrieve the source blood. In the original episode they found Nigel’s granddaughter and decided to make the attempt without Tesla but he then showed up at the hiding spot. So the AU? Before they go and get Nigel’s granddaughter Tesla shows up at the sanctuary and he confesses that they aren’t going to find the source blood where Gregory Magnus hid it … because he’s already retrieved it but the problem is he doesn’t have it anymore. Where is it? The hidden city. Oh yes haha.

How am I going to make this 50k? Well the hidden city isn’t going to be exactly like it was on the show (hence the slight stargate crossover). Now I’m only 2/3rds of the way through season 3 right now (and trying not to burn through the episodes too quickly) but I know that time travel is a thing in season 4 even if I have zero clue how it plays out (I’m trying to remain unspoiled even though this show is a decade old now). So in the absence of understanding canon I’m thinking of leaning on Janus (of Atlantis fame) and his time travel gateship. This way I can have some historical adventures for The Five but with a little less research (hopefully).

That’s as far as I have got so far.

Now the plan could change. Time travel while fun is intensely confusing and something straightforward might be better. But it’s going be focused on The Five. Mostly gen but slight John/Helen ship as I’d like to remove John’s malevolent parasite and for the two of them to get back together, or at least have a reunion in their future. I may possibly hint at an OT3 with Watson, undecided on that.

I have a week to make up my mind. Eeek!